Spiritual Journey of self-discovery in the Magical universe: When I arrived, realised I never left:only my the views transformed the Universe

Archive for January, 2018

climax: sexual the sensation which it represent and is the interpretation in solid form of

the real thing but that really thing is not included in the so called Bank= bank contains heavy-strong sensations and of course ”climax” which is caused by something like rubbing two dry sticks together to bring a sparkle and to ignite the sticks to flame.

The rubbing causes heat as you all know, plus adding mental pictures well, hell, you all know the outcome.

No one ever gone free, leave the bank by experiencing the sensation of climax… in fact for many this sensation includes lots of pain,  hard work and total exhaustion. And many believes because sinking lower being hit again with heavy sensations, [[suddenly the bank presses from every sides]] to have another climax is the answer: that will right everything! Just look at the human race where is it…  billions of daily climaxes’  haven’t pushed the race out if its misery, up on the TS.

LRH put the act of sex on the bottom of the TS. if I remember correctly and I totally agree with this and happiness on the top… again rightly so. We all know this, nothing new here.

I just want to emphasise the difference between the sensation of the sex thingy and happiness.

Because I have experienced both by now I really know the difference: one is like drinking from the Spring!!

When I was a child in Hungary war time our parents moved us from Budapest back to a small village called Hereg where my father was born, thinking we were safe there, far from the war zone. But sadly the heaviest fighting was around -in these region so I as a child have seen experienced the horrors of war: huge heavy game condition full of drama, hate, accusation, power struggle, losses , full of blame ohhh the fun in which every one can partake in, add they own considerations. WOW..LOL.. yes I know it is easy to see it differently and laugh from where I am at!

Back to the Springs, the water!

But I also recall-remember beauty great beauty =the meadows in hot sunny day. Green lush grass all-around us, here and there clumps of giant Willows and it was quiet, so very quiet this silence too had a brilliant quality, than  the mountains-low hills which framed the valley held all this in place! The blue above was so crystal that one ping, a small ping with ones little finger could have shattered that vastness.

We walked bare foot we were always barefoot  and the coolness of grass and the cold spongy soft soil  under our feet felt delightful. We just walked, but Dad knew this place so well and lead us to Springs which could not be seen from the tall grass till we were right beside three small holes in the ground from where pure clear water was bubbling up! He laughed when he has seen our delight-pleasure as we scooped up the water and drank  this heavenly liquid diamonds: I haven’t forgotten this sight because of its beauty.

On the other hand when thirst is so owerwhelming and the person who feels this is willing to drink from the gutter because there is no choice, there is no other source available  and that is the sexual climax in comparison to the happiness which can be felt on occasions when  key out happens or enough of the Bank is erased as in my case and this happiness  becomes a normal state: hehehe more and more often, LOL, outside of course when all Hell brakes lose.

I seems lately my attention was captured by the fluctuation: the happy state has become more frequent, so I thought I better have another look-session.

Here is the session: my fist thought was: HAPPINESS IS A SALUTION.. bingo! blowdown!

every one is looking for it, want it, do everything in their power to get hold of it, because we all know that happiness ”in the state of happiness” the Implanted realties, the Bank do not exists.
happiness is outside of life: what is believed to be life. yawn…

happiness is suppressed, totally suppressed BECAUSE IF HAPPINESS WOULD BE PRESENT THAN THERE WOULD  BE NO GAME! SO happiness has to be suppressed at all cost.. just a glimpse is allowed.. here and there.

So fleeting, so rare and so precious are those moments.
Nothing exist in happiness.. happiness is the highest the lightest sensation and while one experience this sensation nothing else exist!
There are no beliefs present, there aren’t any considerations about anything, there are no other sensations are present: therefore there are no problems one has to fix, there aren’t any  ARCB’s , there is no fear, worry or care there are no needs or wants, no one feels loss, or disappointments… just one lives and lets others to live…

While one is happy all is well, totally fine: peachy pink!

“”””””while in this state sessions are not needed or wanted because there is nothing to have session on!””””” LRH knew this and written about this subject.

Over the years I learned from my own experiences that there are different levels  on being keyed out and that depends just how much of the Bank has been removed-erased. And for this reason the keyed out state=happiness when items erased becomes very  different as one erases more and more of the heavy masses.

It is like when the water is murky full of particles and slowly it becomes cleaner-clearer and than it turns brilliant in the light, and this is the only way I can explain what I experience these days.

By the way I must add this… I used to wonder what would be like living existing when not having a body, would I be still having a life?

Well, yes very much so, and what kind that too is depends on just how much of the Bank has been erased… and do I have again a body-a meat body? NO!!

No one needs a body to live, to experience that is a myth a bank-implanted belief and it was placed there to keep you within  the walls inside the banks and to make you return over and over. As I said Being human is being a prisoner of ones own beliefs.

I have mentioned before that every solid object is of course the interpretation of our thought.  Clocks watches are representing ”time” passing of time which in fact don’t exist.. LOL… just try to tell this to a person who just bought a 70 million dollar watch!

Now  how one could interpret a sensation into a solid form? The sensation exist by it self , but being a human, this human beliefs that to be real has to be in solid form !

So they created  male and female organs or a strong hand will do the same LOL.. and Valla.. they now could have  that solid thingy called climax! Has to be solid! that is the important factor!







This is a WOW session +news about LRH doing well. fantastic cogs.. happy as a lark… no, feel much better !

I waken today feeling incredible happy, knowing something good will happen, it is a magical sensation.. total key out what ever … and this is the way I felt before I was hit by the Flue-Influenza  and that was the most powerful illness I had the pleasure to experience this life!

So by having this ”’powerful” sensation again put me on my guard: waken my awareness to the fact what just happened little over 3 weeks back…From total happiness to Hell!

So I decided to have a session on this ”total happiness thingy” hehehe..

I haven’t written down all the commands or answers I got, therefore this is just part of the session.


THIS SENSATION IS SO POWERFUL!!!! what has this sensation done to me?
made me believe something will happen something good will happen, so other occasions i bought tickets, went played lotto, in my youth gotten involved with a man, because i just ”’knew”’ it was good wow… none of it ever worked as i seen it would!

i feel this sensation front of the chest, big strong VERY POWERFUL SENSATION….!!!
i just seen self throwing a javelin when i felt this sensation.. the javelin went incredible distance! sort of vanished… sand was all-around and the javelin vanished among the distant rock-hills. i don’t see any other person, but sand and more sand….

[ session continues]’

oh this sensation is also very deep… had it too when i believed in god! shit, god again! no wonder people believe god is everywhere, they believe it because the implants are infused with this idea. crap.


made me believe that it has something to do with magic.. winning, something good will happen, made me wait for that something good, but never has come!

BLOWDOWN!!!! TRUST!!! IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH TOTAL TRUST! when we are totally out of the implanted crap of course we have total trust, trust in self, in our ability that we can do-have what ever we want——- here at this level trust is normal, we never ever can lose…wow… no wonder when doing the OT levels had those huge cogs.. we believed we have reached total freedom from the Bank and we reached the END…and we never ever  will return to that negative state!!! wow!!!  because in that incredible state there isn’t any negative ..  while being-experiencing this fantastic state nothing ever can harm one and because the negative is the implanted crap.

Not understanding how all this put together cause great disappointments-great losses! and i too have my share.. ohhhh so many of them!

WOW…. TRUST!!!!!!  back to trust unwavering- total trust… knowing that nothing negative will happen again, in fact those  negative; ideas are not present in that magnificent state which exist outside  because that State is outside of the implanted thingy=Bank.

Here in this State JUST BLID TRUST exist: the knowing we can do anything!  and that leads to loss.. to negative happening.. totally opposite, wow…. totally opposite will happen! wow…
yawn… new thought come in LOL… from the Bible wow, that too is crap…
yield … not to yield to temptation.. that is a warning! betting… buying tickets.. playing slut machine is yielding to temptation..

NOT TO WISH, NOT TO INTEND FOR SELF BUT BLIND ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT WE ARE GIVEN, WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE…hehehe.. so the bastards rigged it.. if we wished, wanted we gotten the opposite what we wanted so after awhile no one dared to wish knowing that leads to bad experiences… LOL.. these implants are brilliantly thought out!

””””so when feeling incredibly happy, top of the universe, outside of all shit, where we can have it all, where we are at cause.. and that knowingness is the key  sensation-word which leads back triggers the door open into Hell again.”””’

examples: two people getting married, they are totally keyed into this incredible sensation: they just know they have it, their union will be nothing but good-happiness… than comes the total disaster: fight hate, they  end up bitter, loathing, in total loss, even murder can be.
Some one invest large some.. their life savings because they just know-feel, trust totally that they make it…wow… they lose everything. they not gaining anything in fact they go into deep debt… might even commit suicide ! lose friends, self respect…wow.. from hope…..from total key out from the implant where they know-feel nothing can stop them they can do –achieve anything they fall back to death.. despair, loss, lowest level any one can feel be at.

This incredible sensation of being keyed out brings on disasters: heavy incidents… this what has happened to those who done the OT levels too and to LRH himself… he gotten keyed out sooooo many times over the years and more he gotten keyed out more he were hit with heavy stuff and at the end he no longer could get out of that heavy thing … So people judged him heavily.. but judgement was wrong === their evaluation was not from knowing.. but their evaluation was just assumption.
I too pulled in this Flue experience when in the ”haapiness level=outside of it all”’ which would have caused ”death” but since i no longer can ”die”’ i did not kicked the bucket.. hehehe..

Reaching the state of the Native State, being out, that state will not last cant last because it is fixed … soon as one reaches it, gains that level is hit by some heavy experience which places that person to the lowest level on the Tone Scale..

Than the fight-struggle begins again: looking for the way out. it is like the hamster running in the wheel.

This is how the Bank is set up. And till all the traps are in place  and there are thousands of them, no Entity can stay on that top level of the Tone Scale for too long before the brick outhouse comes and buries the Entity again.

So, many blames LRH for their own failure, and in fact their failure has nothing to do with LRH and the Tech because the Tech works and LRH+ his friends done well, better than well!

I have heard from a very reliable source that LRH is in a new body and auditor and I am greatly pleased by this news!

PS  PS   PS  PS   I love  writing because as I write and after writing – having new realization since awareness expanded and I get new different views.

So  I just got back from the favorite green grocer and it is raining here, nothing new to us this is winter after all.

And I still feel absolutely fantastic and knowing that I am after all in the Universe which is made up from energy and of course the considerations what these masses of energy means, I could not help but wonder what my next experience will be.. sooooo looking forward to it regardless its content.. that don’t make much difference but what will be the outcome after the confrontation weeeell, that will be the reward for having that experience.

Another PS…. the happiness what I feel is ”not caused– do not depends on any happenings in connection to something or some one”.

in fact that is the reason because there isn’t in connection, not depends on anything, I am not happy ”because”!

By the way, those persons who get keyed out because they are reading my posts=experiencing my space and feel suddenly ”steering energies which effects their sex glands and because having these sensations they believe they have fallen in love with Elizabeth!!! Hold it right there!!!!! What happens is not falling in love but feeling better and man usually associate sexual sensations with love.

So those who write to me that they have fallen in love.. please.. sort your sensations out in sessions.








Having incredible fantastically good-clear


There is a good reason for this.

I been actively working-having sessions to improve the abilities to recall. In other word I am eliminating all the blocks reasons why I have forgotten, cant recall, cant remember, have put things behind me, don’t want to think about, etc… etc.. etc..

Most people what they do all their life? They do everything in their power, to put their experiences behind them, to be free of them: for these purposes they use daily alcohol, Oh a glass or two of wine helps to ease the daily heavies, or take drugs, medication, they eat comfort foods to move away and into something more pleasant, go for runs, meditate, pray, have sex and more sex, eat chocolate, have coffee, beat their spouses or their children, go kill some one, or have a good sleep on their experiences:  people do million other things to get away, in order to forget what ever they are in.

People in general constantly look for solutions  by  finding one with that the troublesome experience is gone-partly forgotten, become buried in the unconsciousness.

By  the time the persons reach middle age than old age, well, their awareness is eliminated, slowly sinks into oblivion, because their ability recalling-remembering is pushed away.

Then comes the time on experience when these persons cant even recall from one minute to the next what has happened to them, what have they experienced.

The new experience they have is: NOT HAVING ANY=Blank-Empty Void because that too is on experience.

What we wish for, work toward to achieve, we make it happen.

As for self I daily exercise my ability to recall, therefore Dementia, Alzheimer =moving into nothingness while still have connection to the body is not on the future track.

Few days back I had a realization just how occluded I am,  and this  understanding hit me with full force because having the Flue virus, by having sessions being the virus eliminated some barriers and new  realities, I haven’t seen before given on opportunity to explore. I just love this.




Being bad-having evil-bad intentions:

means knowingly causing harm..

Well, my Track is well balanced if that would not be the case I would not have a past=Track. The good is in place because the bad intentions keep them alive.

I don’t like snakes, I really don’t and when I see one in video-movies I cringe .. I even have after that nightmares.

I had sessions on this topic but again last night I watched a movie about cooking and this was about how on the orient they eat snakes, I fast forwarded that part, I just could not watch all those snakes on display , given me the shiver and this was late in the evening so I knew I be having bad dreams being chased -bitten by these critters. So in bed I started the session and of course I found the many reasons I hated snakes.. their bite what I recalled was so poisones that in most cases I was ”dead” in few seconds but I not only  felt the incredible pain but seen from outside the body how the body reacted, were affected by these poisons: not a pretty sight. Simply horrid way to go, but the ”death’s” were swift. Here in these recalls I was the victim! OHHHH POOR ME! LOL.

So I looked for O/W’s on my part and as usual we are not always on effect a victim but of course we have caused not nice things.. having evil intention to eliminate. But this too is a normal thing to be and nothing wrong with it in a long run. After all we are playing a game, same as the snakes do, we are just having a different part in the play.

Suddenly I was in a different recall where  I was a Poison maker from snake venom! I was good at it, and I clearly seen the snakes to, also seen the village, mud houses built on the hillside the dry sunny terrain where I looked for them and I kept them in small cages and taken their poisons.  I seen inside the room,, the table by the window which was just on opening on the wall and the light poured through left bright path on the table top.

My recalls are colorful, in minute detail and there is a reason for this.

What is my point here? What I have learned about self and the Valances I played out: what abilities I have and these are from Overt -being bad, having evil intentions to harm and learning from Overts I have gained insight I could not gain from being just good.

Good is good, and being good is a consideration to which we arrive by evaluation same as being evil. Do I feel guilty when I recall I done some horrendous crime.. no , not at all, not by now,  now I look at these recall, regardless what ever they are: just on experience I have had.

By recalling events-experiences like the above I truly understood the diversity what I am able to do. Great learning experiences and of course the cognitions from these recalls are the true value… hehehe and knowing I just fallen over anther log which was holding me back.

So, the snakes are gone and I am richer by the understanding just how good I have been doing what it taken handle those incredibly venomous snakes with their deadly gift- poisons.. After all that is not run of the mill occupation!

For me finding Overts in sessions is something special, and I have realised their value from the beginning on and that was the reason after doing all OT levels and Nots, I bought 36 hours of Integrity Rundown which was geared to handle only Overts. That was  the best auditing I got at St Hill.


being sick–just having different experience–heavy duty stuff.

What happens when feeling happiness for no reason, when want nothing, need nothing, knowing I am not a being, not a thing, where I chose on item what to have session on, where the human realities are mostly gone: still sleep, eat but only little and selected foods like veggies and fruits: the rest of food varieties has become: too heavy, no longer needed or wanted.

Where I just experience and wonder what will be next, where the next item will come from?

Oh  well, the universe always provides with the next step   hehehe no one need to worry that the universe let you hang in there in nothingness- in void toooo long!

Least accepted moment in this case feeling total happiness-disconnection from all was the very signal to pull in or re-stimulate on item which when arrived buried me so totally I become nearly unconscious.

This Universal blessing has a name: it I called Influenza.

High fewer, mind boggling aches and pains from the top of the head to the little toes including the nails hehehe, total loss of desire to eat, the taste buds no longer worked: even the water tasted horrendously ugly.

Sleep was gone but passed out regularly –pain brought me back only to pass out again. the temp. was between 103-104.

I live alone and I knew something was happening of which I had no control over and therefore I just groaned-drifted-groaned and groaned. I could hardly walk yet I floated in a state I did not know about.

I wanted to have a session but thoughts-words-concepts were too far away from where I was.

By the 4th day some of my awareness kicked in that I realized that it is the VIRUS caused this state and I went into session.

This virus the influenza causes the same in someone’s universe-realities as a computer virus when attacks a program: meltdown of existing reality.. the virus same as in computer programs destroys the content and when contacted by human or even me who has very little human beliefs-realities left.

In simple explanation: The Influenza Virus was created to destroy the Program which is called Human realities: human race. Hundreds of millions have ”died” over the centuries when this program has destroyed -dissolved the program which was their ”life”. This Virus program is much stronger-powerful than the program of human realities.

It simply destroy dissolves  and replaces the program with self the virus which with that accomplished I too have become the virus, this works the same way as when I bite into that apple, in that moment I am that apple =everything I know about it is me.. I experience: therefore I am.

This is the reason Influenza is so deadly… those who are not very grounded are more affected: children old people, their realities not yet have solidified or they are braking up as with olds folks who are on the way out from the implant.

By the way I was waiting for the heart to stop but I haven’t felt worry or fear since I haven’t any and beside I know I cant die… because I don’t live either…. so there was no problem.

The Virus don’t contain realities what we could call: life-living therefore death concept isn’t in it either.

Today is the 11th day.. a bit a food, fruit, cup of soup, water etc.. and had more sessions. The temp. is normal, but no apatite, and I am floating in unchartered territory.

I realized by becoming this virus I left behind that little reality I had have connected me to the body… sleep, and food…. I know I am totally outside and what is this means,  what is next? LOL… I haven’t a clue, but today I realized even this item  had to be experienced and confronted before I can take my next step.

PS: to some of you who believe have the hidden assumption-beliefs that this kind of things should not happen to some one like me because I attained Native State, had the valance of Gautama and being enlightened Well… to those readers.. that is the indication that they haven’t the clue what is the universe about and they think  and thinking has nothing to do with knowing.

PS PS PS PS::::: here is on answer to a email: because you are thinking you are evaluating what you are reading above and that is figure-figure -assessing considerations what is available =from your bank and that is your understanding and from that you assume know where I am at.

do re-read the above and do your best to understand that the Virus is not part of the Bank.. but totally different creation and that is the reason doctors-research will never find cure for Influenza.