Spiritual Journey of self-discovery in the Magical universe: When I arrived, realised I never left:only my the views transformed the Universe

Archive for August, 2017

after the attestation… what i been doing.

After that major realization for a few days I floated about in total nothingness-emptiness feeling not much, no thoughts were present what so ever but from experience I knew  there is no such a thing as total bliss, emptiness, nothingness because I have encountered these experiences which felt like ‘’emptiness-nothingness-total void’’ and I know from experiences that these beliefs are in fact are items incidents and have been experienced in past-lifes which were used: as example: the shell of on egg, a house which protects the body, or simple clothing which is used as covering.

These concepts thoughts are used for walls, barriers, to separate things from whatever, and also used to ‘’trap’’ others to eliminate them from game of life, they are very useful concepts.

Every key-out state or permanent state gained by eraser only means now being keyed into or fallen into different experience, after all long as any one has sensations, feelings, thoughts still remained in the Universe haven’t gone anywhere just having different experience.

Even if the person feels total bliss, happiness and floats about and believing that now has achieved Enlightenment: reached the ultimate- final state there is and thinking this is IT!!!

Well, that person is stuck in a mass of energy which he-she calls ‘’bliss-happiness, this is it, I am on the top of the heap, I have attained TOTAL FREEDOM, I know it all, there is no more to know, to experience’’. !!!!

And this is going on for thousands of years for those who practice some sort of thing which moves them out of the so called heavy human practices.

But that bliss-happy state has on earlier origin someplace back on their track and now being keyed out of one experience they are just gotten into a totally different situation which in comparison to their earlier  heavy thing feels like absolute heaven but it is not the end just a different experience which has different deposit of thoughts-beliefs etc.

There is no such a thing as Everlasting Bliss, and anyone who claims such a thing is a liar, or don’t have understanding what actually is happening to them.

When the person who believes has attained Everlasting Bliss, happiness, have reached the peak, the freedom, well, hit that person on the head with a hammer, do not have to be a big blow but that blow will be felt and in that moment the happiness, that eternal bliss is gone through the window, like that happiness never existed and now what is there is pure pain.

That person would justify having that pain IS A BODY REACTION!!!

Again: there is no such a thing is separate body pain, that pain from the blow exists because the person believes it was created therefore it is. We cant say, Oh there are body reactions, body pains, etc… if we know about something, when we feel something than we have it, it is ours.

The person is in denial… because if h/s denies or blames having that pain than has to accept the fact that they are not in total bliss.. but floating about like ‘’goja or golya foss a levegoben.’’

One of the most difficult item –experience to confront is ‘’nothingness- void-emptiness” because what these considerations meant to any person: they contains no pictures thoughts, actions therefore it is a blank unmoving mass of energy and to go from this blank, to find the way out if is challenging but can be done because I have done it.

Interestingly when I had that huge win which pushed me into this ‘’happy=empty state’’ and it has taken me days many hours of probing until I finally found my way out of this invisible shit which I want to call now SENCTUARY…. LOL.. and let me tell you I have found in this ‘’sanctuary’’ many many other beings who  have been stuck in there for eons including those who  mediate and believed that now this empty state is the only existing truth which is void of creativity-life.

After all what is a Sanctuary: an refuge where one feels safe, protected from those terrible happening’s which is called life experiences…a hiding place from the stormy masses of beliefs of our own.

So here I am back on track and doing what comes naturally for me and this do not means I haven’t gained the state I have attested to, of course I have.

What we know is ours and that is our private Universe and that knowledge, understanding can’t be taken away by anyone, but only our own different believes, our different way of understanding can overshadow our beliefs and can makes  us think that we haven’t gained that state=understanding.

This of course no longer applies where I am at I am happy to say this.

My point here is, how could anyone belief they have finished, ended auditing because some realizations and having that they have attained that peak of whatever maybe is for them at that moment when the experiences which have made the universe what is … these experiences are infinite in number?

Do I feel –believe the sessions can go on endlessly?

Long as there are realizations after each confrontation than there is gain-eraser of mass and so far never had the exact same realization which makes sense because once we erase –as-is — get separated from that stimulating mass of energy that stimulation is gone for good.

Endless sessions means endless gains in understanding and that knowledge is power.

ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REALIZATION I HAD Is: realizations-cognitions are not the indicators for the ending; THIS IS IT!  BUT they are the indicators for new beginnings, different ways to look at the Universe  which means continuum, learning, gaining further insight, hehehe..  just moving on with the adventure.






why relationships go sour?

When at the beginning the love was so strong that it could move mountains?

Over the years I wondered why relationships go sour, go downhill, what are the reasons relationships regardless in marriage or friendships do dissolve most of the time.

I am not talking about when two persons stay in marriage just because: the kids, the property or their religion wont allows or their fears of being alone or just hanging in there tooth and claw because they don’t want shame, don’t want to rock the boat period.

Well, I been there myself and for those reasons I have had lots of sessions on those condition.

But the question still remained why relationships can’t last?


Because all relationships start out at the ‘’summit’’ and from that moment on when each party feels that incredible affinity, total love; from that moment on it is downhill all the way.

They get keyed back into ‘’life’s’’ daily routine and that is that because that life is not  made from the same light energy vibrations love is connected into. 🙂


Love this: personalities-valances as recalled from Track

I have been fascinated about ’’Valances’’ how they come about, how they were created, I had more than few sessions on them and me now being on a very different level of Awareness’’’ now I taken up old –confronted subject and I see them in different realities, how they were used in the track and how are they used now.

How I see Valances and have been in the past as they are Masks, Façades, Disguises, Smokescreens hehehe, I love the description because “Smokescreens’’ it is a perfect portrayal what being-ness-as are representing.

Not one Valance regardless what these valances represent are the real, the Entity itself: example: that homeless person who sleeps under some bridge, or the queen who lives in style clad in silks and satins, or a cute little baby you love so much because it is so tiny-innocent-helpless, needs protection, nurturing, LOL. That baby could have eaten your liver in different life or vice-versa!

Keep it in perspective all Valances can only represent matter! [accept one, which is not really a valance-only on idea without pictures.]

What I am working on is looking wanting to see beyond these valances because they are confusing, these ‘’fronts’’ never ever represent the ‘’real’’ being.

Example how many occasion we have heard this ‘’lamentation’’: he is not what I believed he was, under that nice-nice he is brutal, mean, nasty or she is a total bitch and not that sweet thing I have married, she is a dragon etc..etc..

Well, the Valance the person buys into when seeing that handsome lad, or cute assed girl, well, these valances are nice – sweet- gentle—kind.. But that is just a very –very small part of the package because that Entity who is now hiding behind that nice valance is and was everything, every personality and these in number and in different identities are unimaginable by human understanding.

I am reposting below earlier thing I have written but REVISED which still very much remains as FACT what valances are and used for.

Hehehe you are in one too because you believe that you are somebody, and being ‘’ somebody’’ is a valance.

Implants. I will tell you what I know of implants. This of course is my reality, and understanding how they work since I have stumbled on them in sessions in many occasions and seen implant stations too.

Waaaays back, I have no idea where I have been before but I see self-have arrived into a new place a huge city, full of Beings every kind -every make, here I found something new; I found that one could buy personality. One could change into different role whatever one desired.

It was very simple thing to do, one just went into the store, the outlet and looked over their list of personalities what was available to BE.

But first one had to buy a ‘’basic personality a platform’’ on which one could build on.  Makes lot of sense to me if you would ask.

Sure lets go for broke, the whole hog. Why not, what we have to lose?

Also you could see the results of those wonderful personalities in the city itself walking about on the streets and each being was the great advertisement of those wonderful enticing products.

One could see a new novelty: a beautiful created woman and one clearly notice just how much admiration she has collected, everyone who has seen her loved its energy flows because they were very simulative as she was sashaying down on the street.

Wow one would think: That can be fun to cause such a big effect, just got to buy it too, a must have!

Plus one finds out in the store yes, that item the “beautiful woman” is on the bestselling list. But one more thing if one pays a little extra than can get different versions of that “beautiful woman”. Example, classy lady, cocotte, gipsy girl, good person, bad person, old and wise lady etc… etc.. etc.

Gets down -loaded and now you are a beautiful woman you too can emanate those lovely energy flows-vibrations and get admiration.  You are now being that loveliness. You buy clothes for it you dress it, show it off everywhere. You are in the middle of everything, you are wooed. Courted by the “Male” personalities and handsome they are too. WOW!!!

After a while one can become bored with that personality, that game so you become a warrior, huge game, it has many complicated sides, variety, complexities like  winning and losing, conquering, going to places, demolishing others. Great game to experience and all that power, much better than being a woman since her personality does not have that complexity as the warriors has.

And being the woman one learned how beauty can pull in admiration and how one can manipulate others by having wanting to own that admired person, personality. Sticky stuff to lure others in with that magnetic beauty than you can kill the beggars off one by one but love am to death first. Naturally!


But just how long one can be a soldier even if one plays the role from the lowest foot soldier to the highest, and have the control by being a commander. So in this game new learning new understanding are included and we learn we can be controlled or be the controller and being controller is better since it has the winning personality.

Of course in each game had rules which had to be followed in order to reach that end part of that game than you got some rewards and the acknowledgement you have ‘WON”. Than meant: You are good, capable, better than others you have not lost that personality [died, eliminated in the middle of that game].

Let’s say next game one buys is a” professor” who has great knowledge, combination of items in that personality on many different subjects. One can dress accordingly and one would be instantly recognize what role one plays from ones dress mode and behavior. And knowing that rumpled looking being who has that ruffled hair, carelessly dressed person but under that exterior is great, formidable knowledge is hidden. So don’t mess with that person.  He knows that he knows!! 🙂

Next could be on “architect”, what a wonderful down load what a brilliant knowledge could be attained: fashioning matter from matter, creating illusions for illusion’s.!

Let’s look at a personality of the “Doctor” who has downloaded all the knowledge how to cure, fix up bodies of those who’s abusing of different personalities caused to the basic personality disharmony, was breaking down and caused confusion, aberration.

Because of the program he the “doctor” could now coordinate, harmonize that Being, that personality-valance’s program that basic personality to which one could add again new personalities.  So after all the good Doctor cured nothing, maybe the saying-indicator being a “quack” originated from there.:)

The massed up valance-personality has become cured by having the basic personality re-installed once more, great stuff, but good grief, what a mess that faulty basic program has created since every programs were still there but now was covered up-over by the good doctor, same as now!

Nothing ever was erased, just overridden so the shit pile just gotten bigger and bigger.

The games have become very popular since they were very-very simulative, electrifying and had lots of diversity,  just look around you now, you see the roles-valances still are in use representing every being-ness –doing-ness of what is called ‘’life’’ itself and by now truly believed being real, being that personality.

Of course in each game-valance had rules which had to be followed in order to reach that end part of that game than you got some rewards and the knowledge you have ‘WON”.

And the acknowledgement you got that you are good, capable, better than others because you have not lost that personality [died off, eliminated in the middle of that game]

Again just look around you: People killing each other with full zests, enjoy every minute of it, if not than they would not be doing it,  beauty queens sashaying on stages and receiving admiration, attentions, they are being imitated, copied etc., always have been a good selling item.

There is a doctor in every bush and we have millions of variety of dwellings created by architects and actors are highly paid to play out, dramatize their own and the valances of others.

But that was not the end of the making of implants. There were many created and have become more complex.

I could go on for hours writing of complexities, days in fact.

Let’s skip the development. Finally a game was created where everybody could buy into and have different roles to play in.

Huge item instantly went on the bestselling list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here in this game were hundreds of different personalities were created and were included from every imaginable variety of doing-ness, art, science, religion, murderers, healing, wars, winning, farming, heaven, hell, rubbery, family games, learning,[ know and not know] rulers, high ranks, and low ranked players.. what on incredibly exciting new game WOW!!!!

One could buy the role in this new game, with that it has become a co-op, the jointly owned game. And that way the player could partake and see how others were fairing, doing, winning losing and could be there too cheering them on or feel glee and throw few stones at the buggers who were the loser or poison the whole lot off. What a lark!!!

To be a king one could become, but that role was very expensive. So only few were sold it was cheaper to be a foot soldier, for the middle fee one could buy the role of a Dr.[ you got your middle class established]

Role of on artist was very expansive to buy since to be on artist needed lots of creative ability, and different energy flows which were very different from the lower=heavier stimulation level personalities. They, the artist have become eccentric rare birds, nutty as a fruit cake, “free in spirits”.

In this new co-op game contained stops to, if one was doing something wrong one would have to go back to the beginning because the Valance was eliminated=died and the player if wanted to get back to the game had to start all over again with a different valance and learn everything again =new body valance] being born in order to continue the game.

Look around you that is still Is all about; getting back to the game by reborn into a new valance!

Now there were interesting items featured in the game if you did something wrong as a penalty you could be out of the game or become a lessor player, lost your position and become a servant in a lesser role  “below” less valuable and had to serve others.

If you were good you could win a higher role and continue with that new role in the next game [lifetime].

This was the greatest program ever created, since it also contained boundaries, punishment if one fouled up the order; it had laws to go by, rules and regulations.

There were critics, judges in the game too! Hehehe.

Many rewards were given out, like going to Heaven if one had no penalties going through the Game and be with god and his servants, the angels OR if one did lots of wrong not followed the rules could end up as punishment in HELL.

One could always work self out of each role and better self in the game and then the reward would bring better more valued role which was more costly but one did not had to pay for that personality one could simply win it if one was a good player.

Also one could be punished, being totally cut out of the group and isolated because broken the rules of the game. You got your “prison” here established; the “solitary confinement” where one loses self=valance were one was in, gotten that fatal acknowledgement that valance no longer exists; in other word: you were nothing but ghost, a free floater in the universe!

One could be forced out of the game for a “period of time” as a punishment for not being the good player not fallowing the rules.

You can see every aspect played, dramatized around you. It is called the “Human life”.

One of the millions of problems the Entities have now because the programs were never erased just over ridden because the person become bored and just bought a new one.

And there was no technology created to reverse the effects of the implants.

I hope by reading this you no longer wonder why is so much confusion the humans have in life, by playing the game.

Only the tech of LRH’s can reverse the conditions, the effects of the implants galore by confrontation; erasing them in sessions.

The name of the game the most complicated well designed implant ever made is the “Human life”.

Which is the most valuable role?

There is no value in any personality all of them need to be confronted, as-ised in session by each individual and have cognitions on what was the reason one went into such a game.

There is no waving with the magic wand which could erase all that or find that button that ONE REALIZATION or follow some imaginary map which would lead the entity out that would work or erase the effects of one’s activity, the entities very own created history=universe.

If there would be such a things than again only =Entity would be the loser because we need understanding the knowledge why we have done what we have and by understanding only than the entity can walk out from this MEST= Universe, the grip from the Implants.

PS:  I nearly forgot the most interesting personality which was outlawed but was sold in the black market, under the table.

Naturally it has sold most in number, huge profits were made.  Every person who had the means bought or had a copy made: “Counterfeit’’ originated from here.

The personality was: get ready!!!!! “INVISIBLE”. LOL…what a fun was and still is most of all very useful personality-valance: ‘’now see me, now you don’t! ‘’ or ‘’catch me if you can!”

PS: i haven’t seen any gurus in this recall… hehehe they  must be a later addition in which this valance was made and called: False Prophets and these charlatans  only can lead others into myriad of confusing significances and not one indicates the follower has really gained freedom from MEST.




[This realization was last year.]

Four DAYS BACK I STEPPED INTO A VERY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE, at first by having a ‘’cognition’’ I did not know this happened, all I knew what I felt and the understanding something was happening but I haven’t had a clue what was going on.

Than Symbols – Significances –pictures started and the realizations flowed like Ganges.

This Universe don’t contain evaluation, because here doesn’t have negative or positive side, here it simply IS.

This is the State as would be in Fairy Tales: ‘’ one lives happily ever after’’.

This is the State when someone dreams of being free from all the worldly miseries; this would be the place where that harmony exists.

This is the State when one falls in love believes thinks will last forever and it will be.

This is the State when those who live in condition being poor-in poverty dream what riches-wealth would be like to live in and l

This is the State the drug users believe when they shooting up or snort chemicals- whatever will transport them into, but never happens. Here drugs or any other form of whatever not needed to enhance, not even comfort foods to make one feel happy-contented, because here simply that IS.

This Is the State those who meditate hope to enter into and gain lastingness but that will never happen because what wasn’t confronted erased will pull the person back.

This is the State we all thought will be attained by doing the OT Levels and we be in this magical realm, finally I am.

This Is the State I thought if I would have a Magic Wand than I could transport self to, but than that would not have worked because I would not understood what I would be in because I would not understood what I have been in what it means: what has created the beliefs-illusions of solidity in the first place! So Magic wands are useless.

This is the State when those who belong to those fanatic groups and they believe if those persons who are outside of their belief would be eliminated than they would be sitting pretty strumming their hand harps and live happily forever. HEHEHE…the bad, unwanted has to be eliminated-erased from within and blaming others for the state we are in just don’t cut it, don’t get any one out of the crap they believe they are in.

This is the State where none of the human realities exist, no values, no evaluations, nothing has importance, there are no contradictory elements-beliefs pulling the entity toward different experiences.

This is the State nothing visible to the eyes yet still having it all.

This is the State which cannot be described by words, significances but only can be explained ‘’what is not’’.

If could be described than could not be what is because only things- matter can be described Example; on apple can be described but the energy, that unseen vibration of the apple cannot be seen by the eyes, that vibration cannot be described to those who only see with their eyes. But of course can be felt-sensed. That is the reason apples are so loved, and cats- dogs too!

Same is with this Vibration which is not in connection with the Earths vibration, but totally separated and same goes for the level of awareness on understanding what the Universe is about.

Some of you who are reading this and wisely nod your head and think that you know exactly what I am talking about than I am disappointing you because before anyone can experience such a vibration-state and understand what is and before that can happen that person has to experience and understand what  MEST is about to a smallest factor.

This state has nothing to do with reality: this means: whatever has been learned from the moment on person entered into ‘’life’’ by having a body, because this state cannot be learned but has to be earned by confrontation and eraser what was believed was real and solid= life as it is known.

And don’t anyone believe that this is god state…. NO! Definitely not, this is not on implanted state.

What next? Will see.