I have my daily sessions…. Please note ‘’sessions’’ based on whatever comes up, hits me=stimulates.
So this way always everything handled-confronted and I have to admit I could not imagine the days-time to pass here and not devote that ‘’time’’ being in sessions.
Few days back I stumbled on an incident which was on ‘’implant’’ and this was my first implant and the content of this thing made me introverted- reclusive solitary person and this has affected my existence as a ‘’Being’’ ever since and that is a very very long time-existence in this universe.
This implant was the foundation of my personality and by blowing- erasing this mass of energy has completely dislodged- freed me from that basic and since than I am still greatly disoriented.
So much so, that I have to stop and look at things and sort of search for the reason what I wanted to do, example: opening up the computer I look at it and for a few second I wonder what I am to do next, in the kitchen, I pick up the glass and wonder what is the reason for I have it in my hand. That questioning is about a second or so but it is there with everything I want to do.
Waking up in the morning and trying to connect to the location where I am by collecting the meanings of the objects-furniture around me-and the body of course.
This morning was something else, the first thought I had: looking around: where am I ?
The interesting part is me standing front of the closed door and wondering what is happening and why it don’t open since it pose to and with the lights.. turning them off I am surprised that my ”intention” haven’t been working and I have to use the body-hand to turn the switch off!.
Soon as I had that realization I have known by the eraser of that basic implant which was the main mass has opened the door to on unknown universe LOL… is it ever, like a rung being pulled from underneath me, I even have on impression I wobble when I walk don’t feel the legs touching the ground.
I am disoriented, at loss but I am continuing with the sessions and will handle all the new things-sensations-considerations. 🙂
PS: I believe I moved into a state where everything was caused by intention… I just opened the door and getting the taste but the intention still not working… that means I still have lot of confronting to do: and I will dig with full speed… hehehe I should have a steam shovel… 🙂