Spiritual Journey of self-discovery in the Magical universe: When I arrived, realised I never left:only my the views transformed the Universe

Archive for February, 2013

Huge win of Kay Proctor’s OT solo auditor

From Kay Proctor… Solo auditor.

February 14, 2013
Recent win Solo Auditing…

Let me start by saying that I have always known that I was holding myself back in all ways, but the root source of what or why had never presented itself (as I was not ready to confront it). Everyone that knows me would tell me how powerful I was, yet, I would come back with the caveat, to myself, ‘with yeah, but where is the proof. I’m not this; I’m not that’ –self-invalidation.

I was recently in a job scenario where I worked for a fellow that was quite volatile with regards to his handling of business, financials, his life – just let his case hang out 99.9% of the time. I was running his office and doing all his financials, and he would constantly invalidate my work – that he could it better, faster, even with his hands tied behind his back.

Each time, I would solo audit some of the charge off and come back with a renewed sense of “I can handle this and make this go-right” – and have many times now. Make it go right is my mantra, no matter what the circumstances (even if it was constant suppression and invalidation?).

This work situation escalated to a point where this fellow was constantly trying to find reasons to let me go. He’d make statements that he’d have the CPA do what I am doing – they could probably do in an hour what I did in my 3-day work week.

Repeated demeaning, invalidating remarks. And each time, I would find a solution and continue on.
I finally reached a point about two weeks ago where I told him to knock it off, that it wasn’t okay to keep taking bites out of my ass, but of course, his case was directing him to get rid of me, so he had to justify that decision and continued with more invalidating remarks, insinuating I wasn’t working, that I was taking too long, that he could handle much of what I do—always a pins & needles environment, because whatever I did, it was always wrong.

With the help of my mentor and c/s, great TWC, she kept asking me about it the situation and finally the words annihilate popped out. That was “it”, he was trying to annihilate me. I knew I had “the item” to go into session.

Def. annihilate: to cause to be of no effect; nullify; to cause to cease to exist; to cause to vanquish completely.

So, I took myself into session and handled with session rudiments times that I was annihilated – to include ‘has a withhold been missed’ at which time, I realized that every time I had been annihilated, that I had to ‘start over’ which meant drop the body — a real ‘start over’. Take a look at 2D’s and all across life. Folks get cross-ways and just divorce (leave whatever), play the same song with a new person or gig – and get the same result or worse. Time & time again.

Start over – this hit me like a ton of bricks. I was rolling myself down the road towards another ‘start over’ and I wasn’t too damn jazzed about that. I had stuff I wanted to do and I was sabotaging myself.

I then looked at times I had annihilated myself – flow 0. Oh my…this was incredibly difficult to confront. It was ugly, brutal, bad outcome every time. Many times I’d have to put my attention back into the incident as I did not want to confront it. Then it blew –this big fat ugly implant.

This is a huge implant on the track. At these times, when we are annihilated (drop the body), we lose our knowledge, our ability to see, hear, as those are learned each lifetime when a new body is picked up. We cannot scream out that ‘this isn’t okay’ as this is what occurs in the between-lives area when we drop the body. We are just there, and if this implant isn’t spotted and blown, then it will repeat the same gig in the new life. Duh…

This implant was running like a motion picture. Now that it has blown, I can sit and watch the movie and it is quite fascinating how this had had a strong hold on me for eons. Huge held-down 7. Huge.

It is no mystery why I had not demonstrated my abilities, I couldn’t. It had rendered me powerless and caused me to compromise who I am as a being every single moment. I was willing to eat shit this guy was dealing out to me, because of a measly little paycheck – and keep coming back for more, over and over. What a sap.

As much as he was trying to annihilate, I was far busier annihilating myself. So to say that this implant was huge, that does not do the magnitude justice.
But here is the good news. Now, I had the tools to handle it. I can solo-audit. Nowhere this lifetime have I encountered such a bloody traumatic being that restimulated me to such a level, but at this moment, I made it happen because I had a way to confront it. I had the tools to do fix it. Now ain’t that just the cat’s meow.
I am powerful, pure power laced in the knowledge of how it was rigged to lessen my power. Annihilation is blown from my track.
Now to go dancing…

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The beginning: the first light in the universe and the next….

OK lets tart from the beginning: Before The Universe Was Created.
There was awareness and nothing more and the awareness’s experience was the Translucent Indigo Darkness and nothing more and this indigo darkness was not dark- black but beautiful translucent and now we can give a name to it: Infinite-ness and this Universe was full of itsy-bitsy light particles, and these particles had sounds to them, that is the sound of magic, I would call that when something is created postulated into existence that act would make a that sound but the ears could not hear, pick up such a sound.
So in this Indigo Universe concepts did not existed yet: or singularity, or beings.. This Universe just was.
My first experience was in session when I have seen myself becoming the LIGHT, the first light in the Universe… and that session was 30 years back so I did not understood everything what that light was about, how it become a light and why I believed that I WAS THE LIGHT OF THE UNIUVERSE…. Hehehe… by finding that incident than and believe it that it was true have boosted my ego and given me belief that I was better than others, different from others and I am more powerful than others.
About the above: that is a different topic altogether.. and the answer is yes and no, but never ever better, just different.. and about power hehehe .. you need to ask.. Otherwise I won’t tell unless you twist something and not on my body..
What happens in sessions that not necessarily the incident is totally erased at the first confronting and one will go back to the same item again and again and take off confront more; and each time see the same item in different light attain different viewpoints and as-is more mass. and have new cognition on the same item.
That is what has happened with that LIGHT I have experienced and I have believed that I have become one and I was the glorious gift to mankind: well I believe idiocy was born just about than tooooooo…. Hehehe, but of course out of ignorance….
The light, the bright-ness happened because particles touched by swirling, moving so fast and colliding and that collision caused the explosion of light, the flare up. So suddenly for the first time in the Indigo Universe was one light, one bright spot, one anchor point was born.
Any ‘’awareness’’ who were present of course EXPERIENCED THAT LIGHT and because having that experience one got stuck to the brightness: therefore anchored into it solidly.
Because one was stock to that light one believed one was the light… of course that belief come much later with time when concepts were added to energy masses and in session now when one recalls that incident and SAY: I AM THE LIGHT!! hehehe.. Sure you are of course you were..
You have experienced the first phenomenon the basic incident, the source from where everything is flowing out of. But are you real one, the light?
One’s body is full of decaying matter and you experience that decaying energy mass continually it is part of your space but that experiencing make you a piece of shit? Really, I am shit of the universe!!! hehehe.. of course you are… all concepts are equal in value….. this is fun
So you can see when one experience something with that one believes that one is and identifies with that energy mass and that belief usually is far from the truth.
To continue: how I have seen the Universe evolve: After the first accidental creation of light which was admired by who knows how many: since that time bodies not existed or shapes of any kind and all who experienced that phenomenon that creation wanted to re-new that experience again and GET THE STIMULATION AGAIN…[ addiction was born, so was lets have it bigger, better, more] and went on irritating those tiny light particles to movement fast that they would collide again and by god, we had another light-brightness born!!
There was hush in the universe, there was magic!!
The second light was the first causative action in the Universe..
Wow… now suddenly we had distance too because we had two lights, 2 anchor points [ but the title the name ‘’’ distance’’ was added much later].
But we were always been brilliant [stupidity its existence too was established much later] now we had ‘’’the experience’’’ and knowledge: if you move particles fast enough than they will collide and we have a new experience a new light will come about appear: born. HEHEHE
Yes… so the creation started and lights flared up all over the Indigo Universe and caused the our magnificent home that translucent indigo place look dark and drab.. the impression have come from that ’’’drawn by the light like a moth’’’
Because experiencing the ‘’’LIGHT”” after that the Indigo Universe looked darker and drabber in contrast of ‘’’light” and by now because of the contrast we established the DAY and NIGHT phenomenon. [ most people want to live in the city… it is brighter there, more stimulation can be experienced: the particles flow faster and faster and they collide…. Bingo: stimulation is there.. Look at sex what is: particles rubbed together and that’s creates explosion of the senses; little light particles go whoosh.
The Indigo Universe is far from drab and dark… since there are many who were not lured trapped by the light since light is a trap because in light one can ‘’see’’ pictures-shapes debts and that is the illusion.. And that Indigo Universe is the true spiritual universe one’s home.
We beings ‘’see ‘’ very differently from what the eyes see.
We all identified our self with the brightness-light, we all use it as an anchor point to this day..
And we have turned away from the infinite translucent indigo space and we believe that life exist only in the light, what the ‘’’eyes’’ can see is real and we have forgotten… you have forgotten that in the translucent indigo space in the infinite where the real life is..
The completeness, the beauty, the magic: it exists and one doesn’t need the body or have eyes to experience, to be the part or the whole-ness of the universe of Infinite.