Recovery from brain damage.
I have been in a head an collision in 94, woman has driven into my lane I was going 34 miles an hour she has going about the same speed
After the collision for nine day I was totally blown out of the MEST, exterior, I felt fantastic nothing bad, had no pain what so ever the collisions impact pushed me out of the MEST and all the connections were severed and because of that I was totally happy, sang all day long, danced inside my skin so to speak and had incredible amount of energy and only had few hours of sleep that period of 9 days, the world was a beautiful place to be in since everything was perfect.
The tent day I have reconnected to the body collapsed and passed out and taken to the hospital when I have come too, I was in Hell buried under strong-heavy pain and I could not understand what people were talking about because I have lost all capabilities of understanding, I have heard the sounds the voices but there were no meanings to the spoken words and because of the brain damage I suffered my speech become almost incoherent to from that day on I passed out regularly, I would find my self-laying on the ground saliva was continually flowing out of my mouth and I could not focus on anything I had no attention span, no memory but continual screaming pain I was experiencing.
The x-rays showed that left side of the brains become lose, sort of slushy and the connections wwere severed whatever that meant, I did not understood.
I could hardly move the body, I only could shuffle dragged my feet because the command center was damaged and I sobbed, screamed great deal and I have fallen into very deep depression.
The pain I felt was unbearable and of course I had continual mind boggling headaches, yet I refused drugs to ease the pain.
I received weekly: 2 acupuncture, 3 chiropractic and 2 massage therapies and about 6 months’ time there was enough improvement and I connected to MEST and understanding and I was able to recall some of the questions from the Rudiments and I started to have sessions but I had great problem because I could not keep the attention on the items.. it has taken another year till those auditing conditions have improved and I could run a continual session.
So sessions started but I still had problems with functioning of the body -moving and I could only shuffle my feet dragging them and the incredible tiredness and depression did not ease up, the suffering was too much, unbearable.
At that time in that none existence I lived in, my husband packed up left for another woman and left me penniless, with two dogs, he sold the house and I had to move out into apartment and [I was still in bad condition could hardly look after my self] but before I moved I had to put the dogs to sleep which was very painful experience.
I still had difficulty functioning, the headaches and muscle pains were constant but I had to make a living and support myself, I had to find work. But what can one do when one hardly understand what people say, and cant remember from one minute to the next what was happening?
I have asked our former cleaning lady to show me how to clean houses professionally and I learned from her and after that I hired myself out to clean houses since that did not required thinking since I have not regained my memory I could not learn anything but I could do cleaning work which did not required knowledge and slowly I could take my time with the work, it worked but the tiredness and depression was so overwhelming that I every day all I wanted to do is to end the misery and die.. Suicide…that thought was ever present… all I thought i want to go.. I want to die, I want to die, because I could not bear all this..
But I was hanging in there on a thin tread because I did not want to leave the body-mind in that state, as a loser taking it with me unhandled.
I did solo every day but that impact of the car accident-loss of memory, constant heavy pain plus losing my home, the divorce brought an incredible amount of heavy stimulation and because of that the sessions did not bring relief from the overwhelm. Of course had had cognitions, but there was just too much there to handle.
When 1 ½ year passed after the accident I felt enough life in me that I missed reading and I started to teach myself to read again, it was not easy because I could read but there was no meaning to the words which I read, I could not comprehend what I was reading but I still made myself to do it as a daily exercise: word by word one or two sentence a day I read at times, with great effort I made myself to explain each word I read how I understood it, I am speed reader now yet I don’t have left side of the brain working properly as it was before the right side has taken over.
But now I can compute with the speed of light: at glance.
Taken me years to confront all what has happened in that accident, divorce and with that the total loss of how I was before that accident;That life was gone.
I have had thousands of hours in session. The most difficult condition was to as-is the constant headaches and the deep depression.
The depression persisted because I missed my earlier life style but the continual solo auditing slowly were erasing all the loses, item by item and finally taken me out of those conditions, and I did not go into agreement with the Doctors: that“””””” I will not be able to move my neck ever again and the spine will collapse too and I will be in wheelchair within few years.”””””
The neck is working but stiffness persists wrong with the spine is fine and there is no depression in my universe on the opposite I am a very happy content and of course I know I am doing really well.
PS: In later sessions I have found my postulate to cause that accident, yet it was other person who ‘’’’caused the accident’’’ and that was established by the police and after all it was she who driven head on into my lane: I have found all the postulates for the cause of the accident and for the agony, the pain etc.
I have immense case gain because of that accident; I have pulled all that in the order of to confront the worsts part of my existing reality-life and that was Hell itself and I was able to come out as a winner, yes and I know how to confront and as-is MEST, what on incredible adventure I have had so far in this life and I have no regrets.
THE MAIN COGNITION WAS: I wanted the logical mind, the bank erased [ I made that postulate when I got into scientology]and yes that what has happened but then I have not realized if the bank is erased with one blow what we have learned this life and that includes speaking, thinking, reading, adding 2+2, and body movement , understanding what is going in one’s life and to be able to make the decisions all that will blow will be erased too I was not ready for such on adventure but I was in it..
After that I had to build a new life, I had to learn how to function and audit out those loses I have felt because certain thing I never could do again. Example: I can’t repeat-recall what I read in a earlier sentence,. I don’t have a memory. I only have NOW.. this experience., in this moment..
But on the other hand I gained abilities I never had before… interestingly my IQ is so high it can’t be measured… hehehe.. that alone made my universe unique because I started to “”see”” things around which I never seen before.
I never regained that MEMORY PACAGE I have lost in the accident.. what I have now is Knowledge which has come from sessions, they are the cognitions and cognitions hold pure form of knowledge since the lies were erased.
After the accident anything I wanted to know I had session on that item and the understanding have become mine.. I never stopped the sessions…And I don’t miss the MEST universe because after all, those considerations which made it existing made me believe it was real those considerations were only a very small part of the whole Universal considerations.
That accident was in 94. Since then the ability to confront and handle any MEST related considerations has increased have become immeasurable in comparisons what it was before, the as-ising is instantaneous now when spotting the lie and cog. is there.
I do believe that auditing works, anything can be handled in session regardless what is that concept, even the excuses can be audited out why one is not continuing with auditing…
I also learned from the accident that no matter what ever happens to one.. we can’t blame other, and not much use in that any way. But by taking responsibility what ever happened one can come out as a big time winner as I have.
PS: since I could not learn after the accident and because I needed to earn living I have stayed with cleaning business, I have built it up and it given me an excellent revenue and I cleaned houses for 14 years till I have retired age 71 [the body].
The first 5-6 years were hell because the extreme fatigue I suffered from and the depression I was fighting the suicide thoughts but the daily sessions continued so were the therapy with acupuncture, massage and chiropractor once a week.
But I was winning and slowly I built a different life for myself and there was a passion which has become my main daily activity to which I totally dedicated all my free time: the Solo sessions.. The cognitions poured in, and problems the ARCB’s vanished.
If anyone looking for the easy way out… well, they might find it.. But that way they will never confront those hidden energy masses-considerations which only a heavy impact could bring back to life. re-stimulate.. and trust me: we all had those in the track..