To walk the walk of the Solo Auditor: the Path of Enlightenment, The self-discovery.
Over the years since 76 after attaining full OT7 I have audited Solo tens of thousands of hour.
The recalls of the past the track do hold great importance, in fact it is vital to be re-experienced in sessions, to know and understand since those experiences every one of them are learning experiences since from those actions of the past one summon up from, to compare, have conclusions to understand one’s own basic personality, capability, the can do, and to realize the magnitude of creative power one has as an Infinite.
Each beings universe is unique since our experiences their infinite variations dis- similarity, or resemblances or likeness therefore universes should not be compared or categorized in any way and pigeon holed with any other universes.
This is very important to know and remember at all times since comparisons only give further imbalances, gives room for judgmental action [evaluation, invalidation] what it can be “better or worse, big or small” etc.: but never less new anchor points gained and who needs more since one has few billions scattered all over in the Universe.
In 1976 at ST Hill I did all to OT 7 (later whatever was attainable including Integrity Rundown and Nots at Flag)
After all that I thought somehow my life should be very different from than an; but it was not, not what I expected, and because of that I felt sooooo let down, disappointed since I had different ideas how on OT should be, [ the hidden standards have kicked in, my own reality what the real OT should be could do etc…] I wanted magic to return to have back again and much more.
How I wished for the magical: for different things to happen I can’t expresses that with words. I ached for it, hungered, yearned because not having it I was lost totally and helpless.[ it was there all the time I just could not see it, too low tone, to heavily walled in to see the thin, light energy, the beauty in its origin.]
It was my life I wanted back I needed desperately yet I did not know how to go about getting it back, and most of all I had no reality what I was real missing: a life as a spiritual being.
Back then while buried under the MEST considerations the still existing agreements, unknown to me was then that great deal more work to be done, waited for me and the reality that I must continue on the Path= as a solo auditor to attain my dreams, my reality, my life and to find the un- known to me “my basic self”, before I attained that state on the top of the chart. The Native State=no bank.
Getting back to 76, I also missed hubbub of the past 3 1/2 years, the Vancouver Mission, St Hill, the do-ingness, the sessions, the cognitions, which has partly opened up my universe. I felt lonely alone, lost and being let down. Oddly this was new, the very first time I have had those sensations, those considerations. The loss, being lonely, was the heaviest burden to carry.
Once the Bridge was done, no more sessions to have, no more to do, what is to do than, when one sits in apathy, loss, upset, which one is not supposed to have, because some idiot said after OT7, we are what? That we have attained the high-est state on the chart? Those were written words only and nothing more… and here I was in it submerged in muck than what one is to do?
So I said to myself: “Do something about it you idiot since You have the know-how, the tools, you know the TECH, you know how to use that, go and audit! After all what passible new could happen to me: after all I known that track since I caused it in the first place it existed because I have created it!!!
That was brilliant thinking from a person who was sitting in deep apathy. To do something, to move out of depressed state and to help self, unique, yes? That has shown me than I have had great gains after all going up on the Bridge.
So I dusted off my e-meter and stepped on the path of discovery of self and it was great to be back in sessions, it was so fantastic with words I can’t express, how it felt to have those cans in my hand once more and doing what I love most digging in muck, looking for treasures, in form of cognitions. OH, those blessed commands from the Rudiments !
To be able to confront, handle the daily incoming stimulations was great, with that my prayer was answered I have entered for the first time since I have stepped into the Universe using my own self- determinism taken responsibility for self and learned by bits and pieces the role I have played in the making the static, the intangible into solid forms as my universe has become over the eons, fantastic, I was cooking, the trill of it all!
Over this many years the Solo Sessions given me the journey of the greatest magnitude the adventure of any spiritual being can have!
From the moment on when I made the decisions to Solo Audit outside of the CoS, living my life as a so-called human being become secondary, everything was put on the back burner. Also that decision to solo brought back not only my self-determinism but the power which I have assigned to other that they know better what was in my universe and how to handle it. .
(My life: work, looking after the body, the social stuff etc… To the outsider all remained, looked normal and that was the Elizabeth which was visible for others)
But I had a secret life to which I have I devoted all my free time to take the Universe apart in order to examine every atom, cell, the thorn on the rose, the tangible, and intangible in order to have understanding of the how and the why: My believes become as they have, what made them so….
I was on fire, God, it was and still is a fantastic journey, to see the universe to re-live those incredible powerful incidents once more which were so well preserved, they waited for me to look and to relive them once more, but this time different was: truly magical journey.
To understand what made everything tick and how I become that lonely lost powerless unhappy human being, what it has taken, how I have achieved that made it so to become as is.
How I love the sessions!
What a wonderful place is our Universe, which I discovered!
Daily I could hardly wait to finish my duties and to get into sessions, I become focused everything revolved around being in sessions.
On the long run over the many years I have looked at and confronted every thought on 4 flows plus run the extended Rudiments on all the considerations and combinations of the same mine and others: whatever have come my way.
(It was a bit more complicated, did the auditing by the standard Tech.)
Cognitions have poured in: Since only considerations hold [agreements] all things in solid forms and of course they do become the only limitations, barriers one has, which hold the being back from achieving or not.
When the considerations=walls no longer there than the Universe becomes open and it’s hold no secrets for one.
The being is free.
As over the years I have solo audited relentlessly, changes have come in leaps and bounds in invisible mode and its ripples continuously rearranged my universe these changes come daily since sessions are daily too.
My life turned into an exciting adventure, since each recall has taken me back to re=experience the richness of my past track, the history of self which I have left behind and top of that I had more fun than 10 cats in the bag. I do not say here that I did not have challenging session, because there was many, and I have crawled and clawed and I have died hundreds of times hundred different deaths: But Bloody hell I have made it through!
So my universe was in constant change, lost the solid footing as a human as the solidity the MEST slowly vanished, was being as-ised.
The logic, the learned stuff, the must do because the collective agreements, the figure-figure given away to” the know” and finally there was magic too in my universe it has returned through understanding the reasons why it has been gone.
(I was expecting after OT 7 who knows what to be: incredible, unusual whatever, like levitate, walk through the walls, reach through the glass, read minds, things to float about and appear when I wanted them. Hogwash, lots of it. Oh, all that will happen later, but not that way as I thought at the beginning ).
The journey itself, the Path of Enlightenment, the gathering knowledge is on incredible progress, unimaginable to any one until one walks the same walk in their own universe and retraces their own step taken over the eons in order to confront and understand their own past..
As I have continued with Solo as the years gone by my thirst to know more not lessened but grown, I burned, I was on fire. I have learned that fire is in fact one’s own power.
Yet what I have found, learned of different realities I was not prepared for. Of course this again is normal since when the old reality falls away new, different reality will replace the old.
These new realities the understanding how all has happened were the gift, for the ribbon and bow the rainbow itself was used the rainbow of knowledge to encompass my universe and as you all know and that what’s wipes the slate clean. Different realities is the change in one’s Universe.
With each cognition walls, barriers are being erased and because of that one regains the lost, the forgotten knowledge the how’s the why’s but to have knowledge is not good enough.
Since every being have stored away immense amounts over the eons, so that is not News. But with Scientology with its Tech under ones belt the sessions as the key well!!!! We are half way home!!!
The Tech is unique to the Universe as it is compiled and put to usable form (I looked) The use of the Technology reverses the effects of the implant in fact it erases it’s affects.
With auditing, one follows, given outlined path, like a map, by having one, one never be lost or become helpless again. This has great importance the certainty, because the immense fears one has of the past and to look and confront. !!
Yet one only can find in one’s own track what one has put there, created by self alone and left there, covered by the invisible dust: un- known, forgotten, none existing: Bu still very much affecting the being.
With such powerful tool, “the know how” in one’s knowledge everything is possible and can be achieved and do happen.
The auditing of course is the Magic Key to the Universe and what on incredible Universe this is, mind boggling, our creation is. While one has the considerations the agreements of a humans, one can’t see further than that and can perceive how powerful how creative, how knowledgeable one is as a spiritual being. We are truly wonderful and incredible.
So here are few of the wins, this one was immense, has changed my whole life my outlook, my considerations. I am the pussy cat, but that little body is only on anchor point for on OT.
I start off with the major win, the total disappearance of fear.
To live without fear was a very unique, new condition since fear itself is the major barrier in one’s life, until fear is gone one real don’t know and understand how one is controlled by such on incredible monster of a thing.
Fear is truly the Darkest Force; the monster which eats the being, gnaws at the soul till the being succumbs and hides, finds refuge in solid, since it become a believe that solid forms do not fear.
No matter what the being thinks, wants to do have or be. there is the underlying the invisible monster which controls: by measuring weighing, judging looking for and having fear triggers of incredible amount of sensations, emotions because of those the doubts come in, the yes or no’s. should we or should we not, the if’s, the perhaps-as and the maybe’s.
There is no stronger and more evil creation than “FEAR” on the track.
There are many other wins, regained abilities, once I talked to a person on the phone whom I never met before since she lived in a different city, later spotted her while I was driving through there and I recognized her from her energy flow which I have experienced, duplicated while we have communicated…I stopped and I have introduced myself.
You should have seen her face!
I have learned about energy flows in sessions. After a while there is no one bundle of steel wool like energy but the trades become separated even out and exist individually and I could recognize them as such.
Now, I play the piano which I never learned to play this life but I play it in an ancient Chinese manner and I hum ancient Chinese songs. (six thousand years old, verified by expert.)
My IQ was so low when I have entered scientology after the test the idea of me becoming on staff was dropped by the Mission staff, now so high on the right side which is the artistic or spiritual side it cannot be measured.
The professors said.” It went through the roof” It was done in 95, the test, at University of Washington.
I can pick out from the distance the item from many others, even if piled up which is the most aesthetically made, again here one can experience separated energy and one can see which is heavier, or light aesthetic in value.
Now here is a big one, I love this, I can recognize and separate, and can label correctly invisible, intangible energy flow. By this I mean the MEST Universe is not just one big bundle of whatever but I can separate one creation from the other, see and understand how they become about the postulates which has created them. Now that is not small ability, but it only can be gained by erasing great deal of confusion, barriers walls=items=considerations which are of course the very stops do not allow the being to see.
If a person seats beside me I connect to the being holding his or her lower arm with my hands, eyes closed, and I run my fingers lightly over the skin picking up different pictures, all personal relating to that being beside me and I see all of it in colors. I don’t ask questions and I don’t need to know the person at all.
I will “read” everything about the person, their past the present and the future and I am totally correct (I have been told many occasions].
If the person wants it, I can also look into the other beings she concentrates on, no matter how far even in different country, since the distance does not exist. I read that being in the distance and being correct too. If I concentrate on the body itself I also see what nutrient the body need the lack of or too much, since every item exists as on individual energy.
Again it is not a miracle just simply recognizing the energy flows and see the pictures the beings have. The reason for such on ability is very simple to understand. One eliminates ones major walls, barriers, considerations, one’s own introverted-ness one’s own heavy energies than one can see further than self and can see how others are too.
Whit this gained ability the guessing is over what is out there and the understanding of others and this way is easy to be a gipsy, see-ing telling the future.
So seeing the future too becomes open and to know it equally as the past has been since one can pick up the pictures: the postulates.
The track, the past is made up from postulates since those actions were once too the postulate to create the future and they still exists the same way but in petrified forms.
I can connect to distance planet and do a little traveling, the first time I have done that the speed the planet moved with , boggled my so-called mind, I got attached to it and have yanked me away from the body such force which I use as on anchor point here, wobbled almost toppled over me being totally out. The body’s movement has brought me back.
Also had a great pleasure to communicate with other beings, “aliens” in the Universe since my communication do not rely on verbal sounds; it is easy to do, with the so so-called telepathy. The universe has become open with that so is communication.
I have come to the stage of communication in which I am not sure if the communications are verbally directed at me or came at me in the form of thought.
The later can be a bit awkward since the persons thought are hidden because most cases one do not wish to give up ones real thoughts and hides behind social niceties, veneer and don’t intend you to hear the inner communication, the real one.
The believes in “being singular, being self,” which keeps one separated therefore those thought, considerations do become the walls which not only keep others away, but us too to understand duplicate what real is in the Universe, these segregation are the major barrier because it’s totally diminishes ones power and abilities.
Next win, I can pick up any object let say on antique jade turtle and see vivid pictures were the stone come from, the terrain, by what manner it was carved and I can see clearly the artist who have done the work which could have been done hundreds of years back.
Plus I see how the item its history of those years how have changed hands or was stolen, traveled under what conditions to the Far West, ( west coast, here) and what will become of it till there is no more as on item as jade turtle. How it will be destroyed, history from the beginning to the end.
Future is easy to read.
Everything have become into existence because a postulates, so the items still holds those postulate and all the other thought in connection to the item.
Since all postulated are made of energy and it is only energy therefore that energy not only have a starting point the formation at the time of postulate but there is the so-called point where it will dissolve into a different form. So being a gipsy is not a big thing.
Flowers do wonders in my space. I have created magnificent gardens and I never studied the how. (Given a title of Master Gardener)
I guess I just recalled as I went along with the soil and the plants. The plants do communicate and let one know of they need, one regains the harmony with nature. After the heavy parts of the bank is erased. it is normal since Nature has the light-est forms of energy therefore the most powerful. No wonder Nature can’t be harnessed it is impassible.
(Nature is the Life Force of this planet, actually the Life Force which brought nature into existence. On this Planet Yet it is wrong to say “Life Force” because life is created so is force and have sustenance a beginning and the end but I don’t have any other name. The life force as I know is intangible and infinite.)
People do come to the garden, they are drawn or pulled in by the Theta, the beauty in the highest form, [flowers] and bring visitors to admire and bask in Theta.
The visitors, all express on they own ways what is inside they universe as a spiritual beings.
Here is a few. Some names the garden the Heaven, some calls it Paradise others on artistic achievement, a perfect design and harmony or just walk about in wonder and nod they head. Beautiful!! They repeat over and over again.
The flowers do they own thing here. When the flower which only posed to reach one meter by the labels definition, grows into one and the half, the petals which is meant to be four-inch wide grows into six or more.
I have here flowers which were only to bloom for 3-4 weeks early in the spring after nearly 5 months they are still in full bloom and going strong.
Some of the plants were so small few months back, I was told they will bloom only next summer, now over one meter tall and are in bloom for the past 5 weeks.
Some others who are only to bloom once a year are doing their wonderful best getting ready to do it again or have.
The garden is new creation; the first plants were put in late February.
A visitor said about the gardener in April ”In the late winter when everything was dormant in our garden, in yours here was spring, in ours now is spring and here is summer”
I told them I fertilize, Oh we do too, yet we don’t have what you have here” (Of course I can see and hear the fairies too, and know how they come about,[ being born] what is their connection to flowers.)
When all the negative considerations fell away which one has toward nature, even plants do better become more beautiful as they want to be originally.
When I enter into the garden I pick up the unusual presence instantly if there is one. I just walk to it, it is usually a predator in the form of tiny green worm. It is fun to do, but not for the galloping little critter.
There are things one discovers and learns besides playing the piano or ask the fly sit still in order to be removed, to be relocated outside.
To watch a wasp happily clean self on my hand and rest for a while, since fear do not exists we are in coexistence.
There are so many other thing ones discovers as one walks the Path of Enlightenment of the solo auditor: to know what The Black Hole is, and what its purpose, what is Alzheimer all about, which researchers will never know, what Jet Leg is in different reality from the original know and understand gravity and understand there are many different variety we experience the same time and how we become effected by them.
See the Earth’s history how long it will be here and what will become of it.
How the so-called personal power works and what really is where it’s origin.
Most of all one understand that these things have no more importance on the long run than catching the little predator, nerveless the knowledge becomes permanent but this time will hold no mess but it is intangible and is infinite as one is.
There are other wins, change one becomes aware of over the time, results I can only contribute to because the continual sessions and the items being confronted..
Last year the body become 71-year-old and it have decided had enough going to kick the bucket.
(Cant blame the machine, it have functioned, labored through thousands of lifetimes[ in sessions] and experienced immense amount of surging energy flows as was used as an anchor.. So the poor thing has burned out. No wonder.)
The Thyroid gland shut down. It was not easy to kick-start it, the body felt like a block of ice, it’s temperature sank to 94.5 the heart rate dropped to low fifties and it has lost the automatic thing which to make to take your breath in and out.
I had to force myself to count in, breath, out breath gulping air when I did not for a short while to get oxygen and to keep it going.
( has a session and “It” kicked in soon as I spotted the reason for stopping)
I last the control over the body [ I have become exterior] it felt like the spine was removed, the body collapsed. Lost most body hairs, etc….but I made a decision it was not the way to go and I will leave the bloody thing it in my own terms.
I did not go to see any Dr’s. no matter what my family or friends have said. I have known I could fix the decrepit old thing.
After 5 months the body had a beautiful head of hair had very good health lots of energy, all is well.
I have no recall or idea what were my view points were before this wondrous thing called Scientology I have fallen into.
But I am sure it must have been Hell because I wanted out.
How I perceive the Physical Universe now hold no importance whatever, but how I feel.
How I have changed in that sense, that is the true gain the important factor and almost impossible to explain since it is intangible.
But here is my best.
There are levels of the next.. In occasions less or more fantastic, greater or lesser happiness, joy, wonderment about natures beauty, total confidence, no longer being lost, helpless, lonely, having no fear what so ever, there are no needs or wants, contented to no end, the trill of being one with the Universe where is no evil or good (not being effect) only IS.
The body walks on the Earth I can hear the sounds of footsteps, but I float, no longer anchored
Naturally there have been huge surges, the ups and downs, in and out of hell all through the years while solo auditing. .
On the road there were many-many boulders in form of obstacles= items consideration, agreements, hidden behind the “invisible, unknown”, and they were tough to locate because I have forgotten I have placed them there.
Good to be on Auditor,To be in Paradise on Earth is my reward for the work.
Since Earth is Paradise. What I done I never have viewed as work, just fun, lots of fun since self-discover is the most fascinating, it was a game and still remains one till this day.
I thought ways back in 73 in September when I started out [One of the reasons has been than that I wanted to improve my sex life!!!]That explains the low IQ reading taken than. It was easy to be on Idiot, nothing to it than “natural state” that it was.
I thought than the end of the road will be being full OT 7. Because to me than was the magical number, the top of the chart the end of the Bridge the magical place of which I have dreamed for eons.
No, no, after OT 7 as the random activities has fallen away of the last few years plus 9 months at St Hill, the excitements of attestations of levels after levels, the great communication with others who were there.
I was back at home in Vancouver and suddenly the World stood still. For the things I worked so hard for, the very reasons I joined the Church, what I wanted the most what I seen and believed in my mind, the postulates since I waited for the magic in my life those abilities, to be cause over, for miracles to happen of which I have dreamed of……nothing………… there was nothing….
I wanted different life, I wanted to be cause, but nothing has happened. I was penniless, had to find a job, and I felt I fell into a bottomless pit into nothing since I have not felt different as I had before I had walked into the Mission.
BUT THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE I have becoming aware me being spiritual entity, I had very good recall of the track, of the past lives.
But now, after all these years, going through the constant changes, experiencing the magic and the miracles and the wonders I have seen and come to know there are indications in my Universe, the now, is not the end, but the beginning on the Path of Self-descovery.
Now I trust in the unknown, (there is no more boogeyman lurking in invisible shrouds.)
The potentiality of the future what the outcome will be is unknown but whatever comes it will be different and better what I can imagine.
I do fully understand the immense, immeasurable value I have received in form of the Technology, the wins itself have no importance what so ever, outside as indicators of the realignment of my universe as they occurred
So much has gone, the Bank no longer exist for me as in the forms of considerations agreements, which is the content of the MEST, but the fire remained, the supremacy of the Will to walk forward is stronger than ever, since I want to know more, all there is to know. About the Universes in general and I do understand that the MEST-SOLIDITY is just a very very small part of the Universe therefore Path is open for me and I continues the walk.
The Physical Universe is not infinite on the contrary, it’s only there exists if not have been confronted but in session little by little the MEST goes puff and the cognitions they remain ones knowledge that is infinite.
TO SUMMON UP:
While exploring, the self-created MEST universe the believes of solidity somehow the SELF, the ME, the ”I”, the MINE, The BEING the “SINGULAR” who had all the considerations of a human and made me believe I was one, sort of disappeared and that self-created universe with it.
The created boundaries, wall, barriers, small compartments which are the believes causes the segregation melted vanished I have become one in harmony with the Universes.
While that has happened in sessions little by little, the same time the Physical Universe itself have lost its awesome magnitude and from under all that rubble once forgotten deeply buried spiritual have risen who can’t be described with words easy.
INTANGIBLE, INFINITE ONE WITH ALL, therefore “In NOW” there is no “I” “SELF” “ME” “BEING” MINE” and no such a thing as ” LIFE” “DEATH” “START” or “END” “INSIDE” “OUTSIDE” or “EXTERIOR” or thousands other words and expressions which describes the human state by agreement, all have disappeared, everything has been erased which have segregated, insulated a state known to be called alone, This is not just the win but it is a STATE which has been reclaimed as in NOW.
The technology, Auditing works. A man, any human, does not possess such a magnitude of power to destroy, stop its progress its continuity.