Spiritual Journey of self-discovery in the Magical universe: When I arrived, realised I never left:only my the views transformed the Universe

The Truth about OT8:

By Maurice Green: The following was posted on a private facebook group a few weeks ago.

There has been much discussion over the years about the relative merits of the various versions of OT8 as delivered by the CoS.  (There have been at least 5 that I know of).   Some were happy with the results, some weren’t, and some were sorry they did the level at all.  So what’s the truth about OT8?   Did LRH ever fulfill the promise made in Ron’s Journal 39 (1985) where he said:
“You will enjoy New OT VIII when you do it. It is uniquely addressed to you.
I don’t want to mention too much at this time, but I will tell you that it addresses a vital necessity for a thetan’s total freedom: I have discovered the primary reason for amnesia on the whole track, and believe me, this you need to handle.”
Fortunately, the answer is “Yes”.  It was the original version that was being done on the Freewinds for about 6 months in 1988.  Unfortunately, it was never properly delivered and the result for many was disastrous.  I spoke at length with someone who did the level in July 1988.  The data I got from him was as follows:   The pre-OT was instructed to look into their own life and find some area they were unhappy with or wanted to handle. There was no requirement to limit one’s attention in any way – anything that was of interest could be addressed.   ARC breaks, O/Ws, implants, engrams, anything at all.  Once found, they were directed to find an appropriate piece of tech that would handle that area.  (At this point, the person was supposedly done with NOTs but if any of that was to come up, of course they would take it up).  There was no requirement to use any particular piece of tech.  Any valid Scn/Dian process was ok to use.  The important thing was to get a result.  There were a few suggestions.  To find a charged area,  one could do an Assessment by Dynamics, or read History of Man (with a meter).  But these were suggestions only.
So what went wrong?  Once a person had completed his/her item and had a “big win” that was it – they were encouraged to attest.  After all there was a “time limitation” – 2 or 3 weeks on the Freewinds and “you’re done”.   What a joke!   That’s it?  One big win and you’re done?   OT8 as envisioned by LRH was supposed to be a long level.  In the “Student Briefing” HCOB of May 1980, he calls it “the third and final wall of fire” and says “the rundown is long and can be arduous”.    There are many, many big wins to be had here and spending a year or more on it makes total sense to me.  (I’ve been on it for 5 1/2 years already and still not done).
   I was solo auditing for many years, mostly in the area of NOTs.  There was a big change mid-2012 when my sessions started to go much deeper, mostly handling my own track.
Elizabeth: the above is from Maurice and I am in total agreement with how one has to audit, have sessions on and without knowing that this kind of sessions in which we handle anything as it comes in was  called by LRH OT8 I find have it on my own and have been doing just that since 1976 when I started to solo in order to handle the ARCB’s I had after the OT Levels when I too naturally  gotten heavily keyed in when got back from ST Hill. and returned to ”reality”= no job, no money etc.
Here I am and still have daily sessions, and in fact I live, I stay with the body in order to be able to continue just that.

the real thing but that really thing is not included in the so called Bank= bank contains heavy-strong sensations and of course ”climax” which is caused by something like rubbing two dry sticks together to bring a sparkle and to ignite the sticks to flame.

The rubbing causes heat as you all know, plus adding mental pictures well, hell, you all know the outcome.

No one ever gone free, leave the bank by experiencing the sensation of climax… in fact for many this sensation includes lots of pain,  hard work and total exhaustion. And many believes because sinking lower being hit again with heavy sensations, [[suddenly the bank presses from every sides]] to have another climax is the answer: that will right everything! Just look at the human race where is it…  billions of daily climaxes’  haven’t pushed the race out if its misery, up on the TS.

LRH put the act of sex on the bottom of the TS. if I remember correctly and I totally agree with this and happiness on the top… again rightly so. We all know this, nothing new here.

I just want to emphasise the difference between the sensation of the sex thingy and happiness.

Because I have experienced both by now I really know the difference: one is like drinking from the Spring!!

When I was a child in Hungary war time our parents moved us from Budapest back to a small village called Hereg where my father was born, thinking we were safe there, far from the war zone. But sadly the heaviest fighting was around -in these region so I as a child have seen experienced the horrors of war: huge heavy game condition full of drama, hate, accusation, power struggle, losses , full of blame ohhh the fun in which every one can partake in, add they own considerations. WOW..LOL.. yes I know it is easy to see it differently and laugh from where I am at!

Back to the Springs, the water!

But I also recall-remember beauty great beauty =the meadows in hot sunny day. Green lush grass all-around us, here and there clumps of giant Willows and it was quiet, so very quiet this silence too had a brilliant quality, than  the mountains-low hills which framed the valley held all this in place! The blue above was so crystal that one ping, a small ping with ones little finger could have shattered that vastness.

We walked bare foot we were always barefoot  and the coolness of grass and the cold spongy soft soil  under our feet felt delightful. We just walked, but Dad knew this place so well and lead us to Springs which could not be seen from the tall grass till we were right beside three small holes in the ground from where pure clear water was bubbling up! He laughed when he has seen our delight-pleasure as we scooped up the water and drank  this heavenly liquid diamonds: I haven’t forgotten this sight because of its beauty.

On the other hand when thirst is so owerwhelming and the person who feels this is willing to drink from the gutter because there is no choice, there is no other source available  and that is the sexual climax in comparison to the happiness which can be felt on occasions when  key out happens or enough of the Bank is erased as in my case and this happiness  becomes a normal state: hehehe more and more often, LOL, outside of course when all Hell brakes lose.

I seems lately my attention was captured by the fluctuation: the happy state has become more frequent, so I thought I better have another look-session.

Here is the session: my fist thought was: HAPPINESS IS A SALUTION.. bingo! blowdown!

every one is looking for it, want it, do everything in their power to get hold of it, because we all know that happiness ”in the state of happiness” the Implanted realties, the Bank do not exists.
happiness is outside of life: what is believed to be life. yawn…

happiness is suppressed, totally suppressed BECAUSE IF HAPPINESS WOULD BE PRESENT THAN THERE WOULD  BE NO GAME! SO happiness has to be suppressed at all cost.. just a glimpse is allowed.. here and there.

So fleeting, so rare and so precious are those moments.
Nothing exist in happiness.. happiness is the highest the lightest sensation and while one experience this sensation nothing else exist!
There are no beliefs present, there aren’t any considerations about anything, there are no other sensations are present: therefore there are no problems one has to fix, there aren’t any  ARCB’s , there is no fear, worry or care there are no needs or wants, no one feels loss, or disappointments… just one lives and lets others to live…

While one is happy all is well, totally fine: peachy pink!

“”””””while in this state sessions are not needed or wanted because there is nothing to have session on!””””” LRH knew this and written about this subject.

Over the years I learned from my own experiences that there are different levels  on being keyed out and that depends just how much of the Bank has been removed-erased. And for this reason the keyed out state=happiness when items erased becomes very  different as one erases more and more of the heavy masses.

It is like when the water is murky full of particles and slowly it becomes cleaner-clearer and than it turns brilliant in the light, and this is the only way I can explain what I experience these days.

By the way I must add this… I used to wonder what would be like living existing when not having a body, would I be still having a life?

Well, yes very much so, and what kind that too is depends on just how much of the Bank has been erased… and do I have again a body-a meat body? NO!!

No one needs a body to live, to experience that is a myth a bank-implanted belief and it was placed there to keep you within  the walls inside the banks and to make you return over and over. As I said Being human is being a prisoner of ones own beliefs.

I have mentioned before that every solid object is of course the interpretation of our thought.  Clocks watches are representing ”time” passing of time which in fact don’t exist.. LOL… just try to tell this to a person who just bought a 70 million dollar watch!

Now  how one could interpret a sensation into a solid form? The sensation exist by it self , but being a human, this human beliefs that to be real has to be in solid form !

So they created  male and female organs or a strong hand will do the same LOL.. and Valla.. they now could have  that solid thingy called climax! Has to be solid! that is the important factor!






I waken today feeling incredible happy, knowing something good will happen, it is a magical sensation.. total key out what ever … and this is the way I felt before I was hit by the Flue-Influenza  and that was the most powerful illness I had the pleasure to experience this life!

So by having this ”’powerful” sensation again put me on my guard: waken my awareness to the fact what just happened little over 3 weeks back…From total happiness to Hell!

So I decided to have a session on this ”total happiness thingy” hehehe..

I haven’t written down all the commands or answers I got, therefore this is just part of the session.


THIS SENSATION IS SO POWERFUL!!!! what has this sensation done to me?
made me believe something will happen something good will happen, so other occasions i bought tickets, went played lotto, in my youth gotten involved with a man, because i just ”’knew”’ it was good wow… none of it ever worked as i seen it would!

i feel this sensation front of the chest, big strong VERY POWERFUL SENSATION….!!!
i just seen self throwing a javelin when i felt this sensation.. the javelin went incredible distance! sort of vanished… sand was all-around and the javelin vanished among the distant rock-hills. i don’t see any other person, but sand and more sand….

[ session continues]’

oh this sensation is also very deep… had it too when i believed in god! shit, god again! no wonder people believe god is everywhere, they believe it because the implants are infused with this idea. crap.


made me believe that it has something to do with magic.. winning, something good will happen, made me wait for that something good, but never has come!

BLOWDOWN!!!! TRUST!!! IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH TOTAL TRUST! when we are totally out of the implanted crap of course we have total trust, trust in self, in our ability that we can do-have what ever we want——- here at this level trust is normal, we never ever can lose…wow… no wonder when doing the OT levels had those huge cogs.. we believed we have reached total freedom from the Bank and we reached the END…and we never ever  will return to that negative state!!! wow!!!  because in that incredible state there isn’t any negative ..  while being-experiencing this fantastic state nothing ever can harm one and because the negative is the implanted crap.

Not understanding how all this put together cause great disappointments-great losses! and i too have my share.. ohhhh so many of them!

WOW…. TRUST!!!!!!  back to trust unwavering- total trust… knowing that nothing negative will happen again, in fact those  negative; ideas are not present in that magnificent state which exist outside  because that State is outside of the implanted thingy=Bank.

Here in this State JUST BLID TRUST exist: the knowing we can do anything!  and that leads to loss.. to negative happening.. totally opposite, wow…. totally opposite will happen! wow…
yawn… new thought come in LOL… from the Bible wow, that too is crap…
yield … not to yield to temptation.. that is a warning! betting… buying tickets.. playing slut machine is yielding to temptation..

NOT TO WISH, NOT TO INTEND FOR SELF BUT BLIND ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT WE ARE GIVEN, WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE…hehehe.. so the bastards rigged it.. if we wished, wanted we gotten the opposite what we wanted so after awhile no one dared to wish knowing that leads to bad experiences… LOL.. these implants are brilliantly thought out!

””””so when feeling incredibly happy, top of the universe, outside of all shit, where we can have it all, where we are at cause.. and that knowingness is the key  sensation-word which leads back triggers the door open into Hell again.”””’

examples: two people getting married, they are totally keyed into this incredible sensation: they just know they have it, their union will be nothing but good-happiness… than comes the total disaster: fight hate, they  end up bitter, loathing, in total loss, even murder can be.
Some one invest large some.. their life savings because they just know-feel, trust totally that they make it…wow… they lose everything. they not gaining anything in fact they go into deep debt… might even commit suicide ! lose friends, self respect…wow.. from hope…..from total key out from the implant where they know-feel nothing can stop them they can do –achieve anything they fall back to death.. despair, loss, lowest level any one can feel be at.

This incredible sensation of being keyed out brings on disasters: heavy incidents… this what has happened to those who done the OT levels too and to LRH himself… he gotten keyed out sooooo many times over the years and more he gotten keyed out more he were hit with heavy stuff and at the end he no longer could get out of that heavy thing … So people judged him heavily.. but judgement was wrong === their evaluation was not from knowing.. but their evaluation was just assumption.
I too pulled in this Flue experience when in the ”haapiness level=outside of it all”’ which would have caused ”death” but since i no longer can ”die”’ i did not kicked the bucket.. hehehe..

Reaching the state of the Native State, being out, that state will not last cant last because it is fixed … soon as one reaches it, gains that level is hit by some heavy experience which places that person to the lowest level on the Tone Scale..

Than the fight-struggle begins again: looking for the way out. it is like the hamster running in the wheel.

This is how the Bank is set up. And till all the traps are in place  and there are thousands of them, no Entity can stay on that top level of the Tone Scale for too long before the brick outhouse comes and buries the Entity again.

So, many blames LRH for their own failure, and in fact their failure has nothing to do with LRH and the Tech because the Tech works and LRH+ his friends done well, better than well!

I have heard from a very reliable source that LRH is in a new body and auditor and I am greatly pleased by this news!

PS  PS   PS  PS   I love  writing because as I write and after writing – having new realization since awareness expanded and I get new different views.

So  I just got back from the favorite green grocer and it is raining here, nothing new to us this is winter after all.

And I still feel absolutely fantastic and knowing that I am after all in the Universe which is made up from energy and of course the considerations what these masses of energy means, I could not help but wonder what my next experience will be.. sooooo looking forward to it regardless its content.. that don’t make much difference but what will be the outcome after the confrontation weeeell, that will be the reward for having that experience.

Another PS…. the happiness what I feel is ”not caused– do not depends on any happenings in connection to something or some one”.

in fact that is the reason because there isn’t in connection, not depends on anything, I am not happy ”because”!

By the way, those persons who get keyed out because they are reading my posts=experiencing my space and feel suddenly ”steering energies which effects their sex glands and because having these sensations they believe they have fallen in love with Elizabeth!!! Hold it right there!!!!! What happens is not falling in love but feeling better and man usually associate sexual sensations with love.

So those who write to me that they have fallen in love.. please.. sort your sensations out in sessions.









There is a good reason for this.

I been actively working-having sessions to improve the abilities to recall. In other word I am eliminating all the blocks reasons why I have forgotten, cant recall, cant remember, have put things behind me, don’t want to think about, etc… etc.. etc..

Most people what they do all their life? They do everything in their power, to put their experiences behind them, to be free of them: for these purposes they use daily alcohol, Oh a glass or two of wine helps to ease the daily heavies, or take drugs, medication, they eat comfort foods to move away and into something more pleasant, go for runs, meditate, pray, have sex and more sex, eat chocolate, have coffee, beat their spouses or their children, go kill some one, or have a good sleep on their experiences:  people do million other things to get away, in order to forget what ever they are in.

People in general constantly look for solutions  by  finding one with that the troublesome experience is gone-partly forgotten, become buried in the unconsciousness.

By  the time the persons reach middle age than old age, well, their awareness is eliminated, slowly sinks into oblivion, because their ability recalling-remembering is pushed away.

Then comes the time on experience when these persons cant even recall from one minute to the next what has happened to them, what have they experienced.

The new experience they have is: NOT HAVING ANY=Blank-Empty Void because that too is on experience.

What we wish for, work toward to achieve, we make it happen.

As for self I daily exercise my ability to recall, therefore Dementia, Alzheimer =moving into nothingness while still have connection to the body is not on the future track.

Few days back I had a realization just how occluded I am,  and this  understanding hit me with full force because having the Flue virus, by having sessions being the virus eliminated some barriers and new  realities, I haven’t seen before given on opportunity to explore. I just love this.




means knowingly causing harm..

Well, my Track is well balanced if that would not be the case I would not have a past=Track. The good is in place because the bad intentions keep them alive.

I don’t like snakes, I really don’t and when I see one in video-movies I cringe .. I even have after that nightmares.

I had sessions on this topic but again last night I watched a movie about cooking and this was about how on the orient they eat snakes, I fast forwarded that part, I just could not watch all those snakes on display , given me the shiver and this was late in the evening so I knew I be having bad dreams being chased -bitten by these critters. So in bed I started the session and of course I found the many reasons I hated snakes.. their bite what I recalled was so poisones that in most cases I was ”dead” I few seconds but I not only  felt the incredible pain but seen from outside the body how the body reacted, were affected by these poisons: not a pretty sight. Simply horrid way to go, but the ”death’s” were swift. Here in these recalls I was the victim! OHHHH POOR ME! LOL.

So I looked for O/W’s on my part and as usual we are not always on effect a victim but of course we have caused not nice things.. having evil intention to eliminate. But this too is a normal thing to be and nothing wrong with it in a long run. After all we are playing a game, same as the snakes do, we are just having a different part in the play.

Suddenly I was in a different recall where  I was a Poison maker from snake venom! I was good at it, and I clearly seen the snakes to, also seen the village, mud houses build on the hillside the dry sunny terrain where I looked for them and I kept them in small cages and taken their poisons.  I seen inside the room,, the table by the window which was just on opening and the light poured through left bright path on the table top.

My recall are colorful, in minute detail and there is a reason for this.

What is my point here? What I have learned about self and the Valances I played out: what abilities I have and these are from Overt -being bad, having evil intentions to harm and learning from Overts I have gained insight I could not gain from being just good.

Good is good, and being good is a consideration to which we arrive by evaluation same as being evil. Do I feel guilty when I recall I done some horrendous crime.. no , not at all, not by now,  now I look at these recall, regardless what ever they are: just on experience I have had.

By recalling events-experiences like the above I truly understood the diversity what I am able to do. Great learning experiences and of course the cognitions from these recalls are the true value… hehehe and knowing I just fallen over anther log which was holding me back.

So, the snakes are gone and I am richer by the understanding just how good I have been doing what it taken handle those incredibly venomous snakes with their deadly gift- poisons.. After all that is not run of the mill occupation!

For me finding Overts in sessions is something special, and I have realised their value from the beginning on and that was the reason after doing all OT levels and Nots, I bought 36 hours of Integrity Rundown which was geared to handle only Overts. That was  the best auditing I got at St Hill.


What happens when feeling happiness for no reason, when want nothing, need nothing, knowing I am not a being, not a thing, where I chose on item what to have session on, where the human realities are mostly gone: still sleep, eat but only little and selected foods like veggies and fruits: the rest of food varieties has become: too heavy, no longer needed or wanted.

Where I just experience and wonder what will be next, where the next item will come from?

Oh  well, the universe always provides with the next step   hehehe no one need to worry that the universe let you hang in there in nothingness- in void toooo long!

Least accepted moment in this case feeling total happiness-disconnection from all was the very signal to pull in or re-stimulate on item which when arrived buried me so totally I become nearly unconscious.

This Universal blessing has a name: it I called Influenza.

High fewer, mind boggling aches and pains from the top of the head to the little toes including the nails hehehe, total loss of desire to eat, the taste buds no longer worked: even the water tasted horrendously ugly.

Sleep was gone but passed out regularly –pain brought me back only to pass out again. the temp. was between 103-104.

I live alone and I knew something was happening of which I had no control over and therefore I just groaned-drifted-groaned and groaned. I could hardly walk yet I floated in a state I did not know about.

I wanted to have a session but thoughts-words-concepts were too far away from where I was.

By the 4th day some of my awareness kicked in that I realized that it is the VIRUS caused this state and I went into session.

This virus the influenza causes the same in someone’s universe-realities as a computer virus when attacks a program: meltdown of existing reality.. the virus same as in computer programs destroys the content and when contacted by human or even me who has very little human beliefs-realities left.

In simple explanation: The Influenza Virus was created to destroy the Program which is called Human realities: human race. Hundreds of millions have ”died” over the centuries when this program has destroyed -dissolved the program which was their ”life”. This Virus program is much stronger-powerful than the program of human realities.

It simply destroy dissolves  and replaces the program with self the virus which with that accomplished I too have become the virus, this works the same way as when I bite into that apple, in that moment I am that apple =everything I know about it is me.. I experience: therefore I am.

This is the reason Influenza is so deadly… those who are not very grounded are more affected: children old people, their realities not yet have solidified or they are braking up as with olds folks who are on the way out from the implant.

By the way I was waiting for the heart to stop but I haven’t felt worry or fear since I haven’t any and beside I know I cant die… because I don’t live either…. so there was no problem.

The Virus don’t contain realities what we could call: life-living therefore death concept isn’t in it either.

Today is the 11th day.. a bit a food, fruit, cup of soup, water etc.. and had more sessions. The temp. is normal, but no apatite, and I am floating in unchartered territory.

I realized by becoming this virus I left behind that little reality I had have connected me to the body… sleep, and food…. I know I am totally outside and what is this means,  what is next? LOL… I haven’t a clue, but today I realized even this item  had to be experienced and confronted before I can take my next step.

PS: to some of you who believe have the hidden assumption-beliefs that this kind of things should not happen to some one like me because I attained Native State, had the valance of Gautama and being enlightened Well… to those readers.. that is the indication that they haven’t the clue what is the universe about and they think  and thinking has nothing to do with knowing.

PS PS PS PS::::: here is on answer to a email: because you are thinking you are evaluating what you are reading above and that is figure-figure -assessing considerations what is available =from your bank and that is your understanding and from that you assume know where I am at.

do re-read the above and do your best to understand that the Virus is not part of the Bank.. but totally different creation and that is the reason doctors-research will never find cure for Influenza.







I have had sessions on this item  on and off for 43 years,  because after all when I started out I too had the belief that I am a Human and every humans greatest wish is to be happy and I was not different.

this morning I felt and still feel total happiness and for this reason I decided to have another look at this state. 🙂

Bellow is the session but of course not everything — not all the images and their meanings what I see has been written down.. that would be to much and the images+ thoughts they contain go by very fast.. they vanish in on instant.

The session started out on the Track …since I don’t have ”time sequences” = I just see-experience the images as they come up.

happiness,=sensations were given out in small dozes as rewards in form of chemicals
otherwise it is totally supressed[ here the same practise continues]

here on Earth
we allow happiness into our daily life in small ways—-hot cup of chocolate, extra cup of coffee, a dress, a car.. some kind of object=a thing.. vacation, party, extra portion of cake  which we ”deserve” these because we done well! we ”celebrate” we make happy occasions… we get together and act happy…
But we cant have happiness all the time..!!!!!!!!!!!!!     that would be to much.. but misery is OK to have, it is OK to have suffering, worry, feeling of disappointments.. fear..
every person here wants to be happy… people do all sort of things in order to achieve the STATE of HAPPINESS.. but no matter what they do-have the sensation of happiness  is fleeting .. only momentary –lasts for a very short time.

I believe it is called ”ecstasy” -.. beyond all human sensation.. those who has experienced ecstasy   their life changed… went off from the regular track.. in other words they have switched track, this can happen also when taking some recreational drugs like LSD.. there persons-Entity never were the same.. left the track.. and even when keyed back –that was only partially -had a lesser effect on them.

Here I located the ”sensation of happiness”’ wow.. it is beautiful, it is a “Pink Nebula” very bright I am in awe of it beauty! it mysteriously glows within the ocean of sapphire!

wow. I did not know this before, happiness is pink! fantastic! thought-understanding pours in: Happiness is pink mist and it prevents …hold back the heavy effects of Black Magic implant
[blowdown on]  ”I have forgotten something about HAPPINESS..”
What have I forgotten about Happiness? the pink mist?
it is dangerous.. I see a darkly clad figure –hood over the head, walking in the dark town .. all dark around him.. the street is cable stones the houses are white washed .. small, there are no windows to be see, he is hurrying because he fears that pink mist in the sky…he totally covers his face  by pulling the hood  even lower  but he did look up for a second and he knew that was not ok. fear flooded him,  than he went in some dark place -room lighten only by one small oil flame coming from a clay bowl and he kneeled -prayed so the pink mist would not effect him… now I see a different image which I have seen in many other recalls… on image laying face down arms open wide in front of god? OHHHHH!!!!! this is total submission  wow.. finally I understand the basic meaning of this image.. why it is.. the Catholics do the same in their worship of ”god” the implant. there isn’t happiness in religions.. not one smidgen …
WOW…. the people did not dare to go out at night when the pink mist was visible because they feared its effects but in the daylight when the eye seen the surrounding images they felt safe because these images were their reality and acted as anchor –held them solidly in their implant.. but the pink mist above in space was mystery and therefore feared.! yet they knew in their unconscious -ness that happiness would take them out of darkness.

Realization: Pink Mist. is a very light vibrating mass of energy and its vibration is powerful.. so powerful that what ever comes in contact with ”dissolves” so being happy–feeling ecstasy is not in the Human realities and those who occasional feels-experience this sensation are keyed out of the implant in those moments.

The true feeling of happiness is not connected to objects-incidents the true sensation is just IS… totally beyond is in different level of being human.

Happiness cant be felt permanently until human realities are erased because happiness the sensation don’t have meaning, doesn’t hold images and that is the reason humans fear the long term effects of happiness and they can only be happy for a sort period of time because they fear that happiness will take them out of the implant and with that they will lose their identity- their havingness of solidity.

Here we cant have both: FEELING HAPPINESS, in a totally free-state = floating freely or the same time being somebody and solid as a brick backhouse!

Here on Earth happiness is represented by the color of pink… even little girls are dressed in pink. Pink bow represents those who fight cancer, Valentine is represented by this same color.. greetings cards etc..  INTERESTINGLY SEXY COLOR IS NOT PINK BUT BLACK LOL… rightly so since sex the act has nothing to do with happiness. Sex do not interprets happiness.. no one will put on a black dress when feeling happy,  or use black lipstick, heavy black eyeshadows .. have black furniture, etc..

so.. happiness has the power to dissolve- to erase, to key out from.

How often I feel happy? 🙂 often and when not than I know that sensation session worthy, can be confronted because it do not belong into my universe.




feeling rich or being poor?

All our realities-beliefs are interpreted fashioned into solid forms -objects.

Examples: time pieces… upturned mouth described as  smile,[feeling not to bad-being pleased etc.] and tears  most of the time is on expression of sadness, unhappiness, gray hair is on indication of old age. I generalise  here.

Things what we have around us, our surroundings-possessions are nothing more than the expressions  the very interpretation how we  feel what we believe in.

Now poverty being poor is interpreted as of not having  and being rich well… we all know what means being rich: lots of everything= houses-cars- art…the originals of course and the money to pay for all what is considered by evaluation that is expansive  because it is rare and  ”rare’ is coveted. total nonsense!

But keep it in mind ”solid items forms” are the representation where the Entity is so being poor means there is not  much value of their belongings-possessions and that is the interpretation that  Entity is feeling poor and when this entity thinks ”I would like to be rich” this means that he/she would like to feel differently –would like to be out of the ”poor state” where the feelings-sensations are too harsh, unpleasant and unwanted.

So wishing to be rich well, with that there is a problem because when ”’feeling poor”  the Person thinks being rich, having all those incredible things what money can buy will make him or her feel different because in our reality ”riches” being rich feels heavenly-get us out of our troubles, sufferings etc.. etc..

So when being poor we want riches in order to feel better… but just look around those who have it all they do suffers equally as when not having… example: movie stars, musicians, sport persons  when become rich  and when they do these persons don’t feel any better than before… in fact they gained a new reality to which they cant get on explanation is:” how come I have everything now and I am still feel like shit?” Than they add to their new life-style all sort of things to make them self feel better. But that do not work either.

Riches- being rich=feeling great  once meant way back on the track: not being implanted being effected by restricting beliefs and into these beliefs Evaluation was already included..

FEELING POOR MEANS NOT FEELING WELL and this means being inside the body, being human feeling restricted, suppressed lost in the unknown AND FEELING RICH MEANS THE ENTIY IS NOT IN THE BODY AND NOT EXPERIENCING THE EFFECTS OF MEST and at cause.

By now I have erased the effects of feeling poorly.. and being poor … confronted the significances of poverty-poor  the evaluations and the importance’s and by now I also know experience the sensation-reality of riches: not being the body.

happy holidays!





feel heavy-dull-lifeless?

this post should give some explanation that those feelings are not your fault in days of December and you are not sitting in some dark engram or what you feel was cause by some evil intention= entities.

gravity is not always the same … yes the Earths gravity is always the same but we as Entities are influenced by every different vibrating masses when we experience them.[including food or sniffing at glue, smoking a joint, having a glass of grass juice, a bite of apple etc.. etc…]
The Sun too has a gravity force and that is much lighter-has lighter vibration than Earths and the side of the Earth’s surface when turned away from the Suns gravity as in so called night– than those who are on that side feels  the gravity force of the earths  much stronger: missing the life-force.

In fact chemicals kick in and the human body shuts down as in sleep, we pack it in till we move back into the suns energy field.
The Earth don’t have creative energies as in vibration  therefore without the Suns creative energy nothing could grow– survive here.[we all know this]
The Earth is a dead planet and without the suns influence would be just that: dead matter.  After all Earths vibration has become almost solid and the Suns is still in loose  liquid formation..
I am sure you all have noted when the days, when the sun is the further  away in the winter months as now, and the daylight is in sort supply than every person feels quieter, becomes less active, sleeps more and need more perking up- parties, lively music etc to get some stimulation… to replace the Suns vibration which is the life-force here as we know.
Now when we have days like here today in BC Canada -dark raining-humid  than even in the daylight hours the suns energy cant penetrate the heavy cloud cover than  all living beings pull in, feel heavy, quiet and some feels heavily depressed, as for I, well me: I look for the cause  and find the reason why I am not fleeting around like a butterfly and why I am feeling heavy like a sack of potato and grunting when lifting my butt out of the chair.

This month the Gravities force is least effected –balanced out by the Suns field therefore is in full bloom… normal, heavy -deadly and we experience this: there you have it.
After all what do you want from a dead planet ???? when experienced  that experience is dead weight.. not unmoving energy but sucking in, pulling toward the core and there goes your precious personal energy… which wasn’t your in the first place but the Suns.

Of course effects can be handled in session.. I have done lot on this but not enough.. more to do 🙂

PS;; gravity is a brutal force sucks in all other energies … I have earlier post about this force in the blog: cognitions.

Why it is brutal???? because implodes , just look around you everything crumbles away turns to dust. Without the suns energy this planet too would be same as any other ones around us.. the incredible cold iciness of space would crumble the mountains turn them to flat emptiness. hehehe and some die hard entities would be still sitting around and waiting for the sun to come up! 🙂


Gautama –Victoria

We have a basic energy field and we are this and this is our original anchor in the Universe and the rest… the valances-identities are just additions and they can be erased as in sessions.  My real identity has nothing to do with being here on this planet,  but I will not write about that now.

When  past-lifes are recalled never these recalls, never are in glory and seldom contain pleasure but the  recalls are filled with : suffering, pain, anguish, depressions, being  lost in some sort  miseries, always being on effect, feeling guilt, being small, and not having answers, of course failures are built into life and death lurks around every corner.

The recalled incidents are full of not knowing, helplessness, fears, destructions, etc.
There are those who had few sessions have ”recalled that they were Jesus, Buddha, some well known ruler-king.. but that cant be known for sure from one recall, because that person haven’t recalled the miseries  the unhappiness, the agonies being that person and to put together being this or that famous person-valance has to contain all the lowest forms of what it means being a Human.
 So to come to a conclusion and to be sure of being that well known person needs many recall on that life what it meant and these recalls never ever contained pride.
My first recall being that well know queen in the 1800 hundreds who lived in England was having bladder infection and I have recalled this because this life in session I was having bladder infection and that is so painful it feels like knife is showed up into the bladder so I went earlier and found my self being in that recall and given by the doctor brown liquid  OPIATE  in order to eliminate the pain… I was hooked on opiate rest of my life and later other additions to ease pains-misery and that was fine whisky which helped  to eased the pains, the daily miseries. Of course nothing is written of this in history books, will never mention of me being miserable, addicted, fighting daily depression, etc etc. 9 child birth few miscarriages who would not feel depleted, worn and plus having daily routine so heavy and unwanted.. I resigned 6 occasion as to be released  from the duties as queen.. was not accepted.
That was my first recall of being Victoria and that was in 75 and since than I had hundreds of other recalled incidents and not one was happy!. That life was the most miserable of all other lives I have recalled since I have arrived to this planet 2600 years back.
 My first human body… being a body was so new, so incredibly different what I ever known before and I was lost, because my memory of the past has been erased and in  this life all I knew something was missing, this what I felt and known was not me.. I knew that I have forgotten something and I have spent the rest of that life searching for the way out and the only means those days were available is meditation.. because in my deepest unconsciousness I have known that I knew the answers and I can find the answer to life what I was in and when I will find the answers than I can go back.. go home again where I belonged before I was made to become a human.
 On this life as Gautama I have had hundreds of different recalls and not one was princely !!!! far from it…. the recalls could fill a book and the tile of this book could be ” suffering”.
The glory, the wise saying.. please -please that is the addition and not was mine…they were put there by those who identified with being the prince and wanted to be that prince and wanted to be wise and good and famous!
No one thinks  that now I AM GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WISE, BRILLIANT! That kind of stuff come from evaluation.
 by the way as the size of the body, it was about 5 foot 5 inches and very  slim more on the scrawny  side because I did not like food, food to me , eating was on alien concept  and I suffered from the effects of food because by eating I was forced to experience those energies-vibrations which food is made of and that has effected how I felt, who I really was.
 I still don’t like eating and my main reason for suffering so much as I had being Victoria was the heavy effects from eating.. and that time food was heavy.. meat.. sugar, more meat.. and more sugary puddings and lots of alcoholic crap.
Here is part of a session my last so far me recalling being Gautama.
it is huge…opaque in color…
W/H been missed about this opaque trap.. YES I CANT PENETRAT IT… IT STOPS ME!!!
earlier missed W?
yes i see it being smaller, but it is just being there.
 MINE, my havingness!!! I am HOLDING IT TO MY CHEST it makes me happy… i cuddle up around it as a ghost..
i find it beautiful, i wonder what it is but its a mystery  i go ”sleep” into this thing..
and i become it! after i done that i panic, i want to get out of this milky mist but i cant… even as Gautama i am in this… it weights on my shoulders, cant see through it not even in my dreams..in my sleep… wow now i see the night sky.. full of stars, i want to touch one but i cant… the body is sleeping, i want to get away go to the star but i stay with the body… i know i am out i am aware.. yet the body sleeps.. morning comes, the light … i see the terrain around me dry, brown, and i am thirsty i chew on some green leaf for moister … pang of hunger, feel dizzy. i want to sleep, want to go ”oblivion”’ but hunger wont let me… i am in and out of unconsciousness  some one just poured water over me, i become aware, but my eyes closed.. some one is pushing something into my mouth, something moist and sweet… i smell fruit… i come too, than pass out again… i feel the body is being washed… i am in some state, come to again and see my left hand, very brown skin and bone so is the arm…  i fully come to sitting, i feel i am in blue haze looking through blue haze… hear sound, murmuring.. again my face is bathed with water and i lick the moisture.. i become aware my eyes are open but i don’t feel much…
i am aware the body is wrapped into cloth, hand holding me up… but i don’t feel the ground.. i pass out again i feel the head fallen back.. being laid down.. hand massaging the arms and the legs.. drops of water into my mouth but i don’t feel more than that.. some one is very angry with me, i smell horses .. i go back to sleep.. oh being fanned by some one..!! i feel the coolness of the air’s movement..
 W/H been missed?
 yes i really did not wanted to come back, but i was brought back.. by care…after that i felt so little when touched things. mostly nothing.. remained disconnected, i was helped held up when walked because i did not feel the soil under my feet… i was totally separate from the surrounding.. separate, out of the body because i had two views one from the eyes and one from above the body.. the body was small it was included in the terrain… i lay down in the coolness of some small green growth the grass is soft and cool to the touch under my face, i smell it, and i become one with the oasis  yet i see it from above,  at night fire is burning i am sitting and looking into the fire and i become the fire!!! but it don’t burn.. i am the flames, they are my body… daylight , i am walking but i am still the flame.. i see through it.. see the mountains in the distance and i want to touch the snow and in that moment i feel and hear the winds and feel its iciness! I bend  down and scooped up a handful from the dry dust it was warm and i laughed.
 What has Victoria as valance has in common as Gautama? the suffering– being lost… titles of royalty is nothing more than burden… and commands to be in -enforces reality which is not real.. a beggar is better off … pomp glitter is for the eyes the rest is hidden.
I have written in some of my posts that meditation  is a dead end street because it leads to emptiness-void and that is on anchor from which  to get out of is not easy unless that void-emptiness is confronted and when than the person will find that emptiness is not what it seems.. not at all.
I am not writing here to brag of having important valances-personalities far from it.. my life as a human  and so far only had about a dozen is nothing more than miserable because what I have seen in sessions how I have understood how these valances are put together are nothing more than misery, unhappiness etc.. that is the valance and the momentary fleeting happiness felt here and there while living this misery is seeping in from the past when we were the creators and not the effected .
 there is nothing saintly about the behavior when Gautama and nothing queenly me being Victoria,  because the concepts ”saintly or queenly” are just a considerations and ALL CONSIDERATIONS= BELIEFS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN what??? to this you know the answer.
valances are same as the figures on the chess board.. and to have a game we take on a image and in order to have on solid image we needed heavy masses of energy and that can only be if they contain strong emotions … sensations, pains etc… happiness is lighter than the feather …. feather can be seen when floating so this means it is visible to the eyes therefore have weight but on the other hand ”happiness” vanishes, cant be held because happiness is not a product but the producers.

PS::::: to believe being this valance-person or that valance-person is better-more important than other valances we hide behind in order to be in the game means: ego and ego is bank  and that is a big load of manure the same kind I have seen when lived in Hungary Csillaghegy’s outskirt and seen the farmers spread on their land for fertiliser.

Valances can exist=be real= believed in only because they are made up from altered realities… these realities-beliefs have been twisted so many times that the truth has vanished.

no one walks on water while having a body and playing the role of being human.. sainthood -miracles are not part of  being a human.

dark.. darkness

is the place where all secrets are hidden, where things we want to be forgotten, we don’t want to remember of, where we don’t want others to go and find things which they should not know because than they would no longer think of us as nice-good etc..

Darkness is the same  concept as emptiness or void and do the same job for us: covers up, blocks out everything beautifully   and no one can see them no one can see into our little dark bundle were all our secrets hidden.

LRH had a name for ”dark deeds” he called them OVERTS… well, it is my favorite subjects to have session on but not all will surface under that name ‘overts but ”secrets”, what I have hidden in the dark  … wow ..  than we will  really get things moving.

there are some sayings: lets keep our little secret in the dark , he has a dark past, we don’t want to dig into his /her dark past its better to be forgotten.

Secrets =Overts can only exist when the Entity  believes in singularity – believes there is I-self-me-alone and of course being something-someone. I can sin only for self hehehe.

The real downside of having secrets is that they have stopped us  in that experience therefore they are totally useless and in the long run no one really cares -gives a hoot how bad we were, what have we done and why we are hiding that bit of sin.

If I would ask a question ” who really wants to know my bad deeds ” I don’t believe one person would be interested.. because every entity is totally into imbedded -overwhelmed by their own electric storm which is full of wonderful pictures sooo entertaining that no one really cant take their attention off for a minute in fear they might miss something.

After all life is on interesting movie.

When want to unburden self, when want to get moving again I believe the magic key which opens the door to that darkness, to that well forgotten part of  existence ” What is my darkest secret?” hehehe

PS: I FORGOTTEN TO MENTION: SECRETS HAVE BECOME SOLID AND HAVE WEIGHT TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE UNTOUCHED BY THE PASSING OF OTHER EXPERIENCES,  just remained as when they were when buried-hidden into that darkness. IFFEELING A BIT DARK AFTER READING THE ABOVE LISTEN TO THIS and you can add you favorite, go for it! Long as not Wagner!!!!




The reasons for these behaviors is very simple… but of course to come to the same conclusion well….one must have understanding how we become, how we act out… behave accordingly what we believe in and why we believe in what ever that maybe!

When the mother loves being with a man, looking at the form-body  touching-enjoying this form: the male body, and  the Entity who has attached self to this “Entity- mother” will have the same realities: hers and will only want that same kind of enjoyment: Have sex-fun same as she had.

After we gotten into the body: Our life is based- established here on mothers or fathers beliefs, that totally depends who is the dominant out of the two. [there is a post in this blog about how we are in planted through our ”parents.”]

When she will give birth to a male body, the Entity who attached self to this Mother-entity will enjoy want same as mothers has: want sex with male bodies and to him this is normal regardless what the societies reality is on this subject.

Lesbian relationship has a different base: here the father is the dominant Entity in the relationship and his thoughts are picked up and carried on- taken over by the newly arrived Entity and since the father loves -enjoys the female body and the newborn happen to be female well… the Entity who has attached self to this little female baby body when grown up will have the same realities as father and therefore want sexual relationship with female bodies.

By now I have eliminated mothers valance which was my inheritance  hehehe  and with that went sex of course, we need to erase mothers, the valances of the parents’, that is important and unfortunately this important fact was not emphasised.

We all have heard the sayings : you are just like your mother or father!!! hehehe, how true!

And how all these have affected me in this Life???? My mother was the dominant figure and she had definitely liked male bodies hehehe but by now sex as pleasure and the reasons to have has been erased.




Because LIFE  is when something is, when something can be experienced, when has meanings, to be alive, to have a life than that ”life has to be made of something and when that ”something” no longer is- when it melts back into the fiber of universal energies.. than life- the shape-forms and their meaning for that matter seas to exist.

But unfortunately the creator first is that crated form-item, otherwise those subjects cant be separately created-formed.
I know what water is therefor I am the water!

we are what we know, what we believe in.

When we are in a Ghostly State , when we are in our natural ways, we than believe we are not alive, we are not living, we are nothing, we are no one and that is the lie of all lies.

simply wow!

hehehe,  over the years on occasions i wondered what is the reason for some bodies live–operates longer than others but till now i haven’t gotten the understanding, the reasons why.

sometimes the entity  has a long stay  and other occasion something happens to the body suddenly and the entity is out.. lost the body and there is a saying ” his or her time was up!!” How true that is!

well, i just seen it in session where i was ””’renting””’ the body hehehe for a period of time and when that time is up, the function is shut off and you are out regardless we  like it or not and in another incident i was ”shopping” for strong body, i was  looking for durability , a good make, long durability was essential! There is a lot of difference in makes same as in-between the cheapest Ford model or a Bentley.. 🙂  they not all function the same way.

PS.. still  looking at these incident -concepts REALIZATION: we all think, believe that we Own the body, no.. no .. no… we just rent because if we would own than we could keep it. and another thing which  i realized sometimes back… we don’t know just how many Entities there are and believe in that they are the ”owners-renters” of the same body.

keep it in understanding that we live in a co-up, there are no boundaries, distances for us as entities.


Recalled in session today and I seen – re-experienced about few dozen different incidents. The session was the result from the email Maurice sent me, he mentioned teleportation and that word brought on ”reading”, my space lighten up like a roman candle Wow, a new subject which I haven had a session and pronto into session I went! WOW what fun! [ for the readers who live in Hungary: the roman candle is the name of a type of fireworks.]

Here we go:

First have to get out of Valance you are in and change back into the original pure ‘’life-form’’ which is just sparkling energy, when that is done than intend to be — move into the form –the object which you want to transfer.[ as when in pure form, distance don’t exist, so you don’t need your oxygen mask, or put on your winter booties and your liquid silver overall against the elements!]

So in on instant you have reached the object of your desire and now move into and become that object’s energy field, has to be only YOU that sparkling- life-force, if there are other left over considerations beliefs still are in existence in your space than you wont make this happen.

Example: a cow, you have to become that cow, entire cow,:his means you are a cow!

Another example: a work of art, painting…. Become that canvas, frame, has to become to the last pigment, has to be a total experience what that painting is… and that would include what thoughts-beliefs that painting contains-observed by those who handled it and have seen it.. YOU are now that painting and that is your valance: all you are aware is that you are a painting and you are just that, nothing more!

But don’t get overwhelmed here!!! Since all you need to do is become… and thinking about it would not make it happen… thinking is not on OT stuff. Awareness is not the same as thinking.

When you are that painting, be where you want that painting and let it become to form again.

Now Zip out of that form and resume your own form or just enjoy the painting  by looking at in while being in Ghostly State!

They call this action teleportation – transferring – transporting the items original energy field … this kind of transferring were outlawed because hehehe the thieving become everyday affair –removing things which were not so pose to be taken… in other words stolen away from those who have preferred their surroundings in solid forms.

The punishments were severe—total elimination: which was the act of emptying the persons mind, simply erasing everything the person have known and with that went the power, all abilities of course.

By now here on Earth that easy way ‘’teleportation’’ just boiled down to taking or mailing the solid objects trucking them with UPS, train, or car etc…and this is need to be done here because people by now do not remember- know that all objects are –have their very own energy fields and before the solid objects were formed first the these energy fields was created.

Let’s not forget when teleporting, those days ‘’weight’’ something being heavy that belief hasn’t existed as now : ‘’wow, this is so heavy, we cant pick it up, we need a forklift!!’’’

On the Track when Teleportation was used that form of activity was already the watered down version how Magic has worked: making things happen by intention.

Use of Magic, makes things appear is on act of creating: and that is on the highest level exhibiting true creativity ability of on OT.

PS: draw back on teleportation: some practitioners occasionally gotten stuck remained in that item which they wanted to transport… hehehe. Just imagine being a picture for eons! LOL…these practitioners were like present time doctors…haven’t the clue how to cure!

PS; this is the way we moved-traveled from galaxies to galaxies: here today-gone tomorrow and fun we had!




Backdated Success Story: Solo
Resolving COS Out-Ethics and Out-Tech:

I found this particularly useful when resolving the consequences of COS Out-Ethics and Out-Tech on my personal health and wellbeing, many years ago now. I was completely debilitated with CFS/ME as a result and unable to walk across a room. For me it was a life or death situation.

Nothing read on an e-meter through 75 hrs 2WC audited on every possible correction list, even by the senior C/S. I had a persistent F/N.
Yet I was simply keeping the body alive.

Although it had been established by Ethics investigation and Committee of Evidence that the C/S had been bypassed with OT level questions being fed to my student auditor, Standard Tech had no resolution.

By applying the following to a satisfactory EP – I blew the condition and completely resolved it’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual consequences at knowing and willing cause-effect. A stable gain.

My conclusion at the time of the unresolved Key-In was that I was in a state of:

– Total Failure as a Spiritual Being
– The Unknowable ( Tone Scale – 40.00 )

And a condition of Confusion.

It was in this state and condition that I ended cycle on the COS.

Although it was hard to accept that I might have to face and resolve my own conditions of Treason, Enemy, Doubt, Liability and Non-Existence as a Spiritual Being, the relevant LRH principles were clear. Without these LRH principles I could not have faced the situation and resolved it as I did to a complete resurgence of health and vitality, immediately upon the blow.
Gone… never to return.

Since then I have been able to support people in resolving incurable diseases with a 50:50 success rate. Sometimes the body is too far down the line. Sometimes not.
Every unwanted physical condition has a MEST source and Theta origin.

For me the resolution was simple:
Apply the Confusion Formula as a Spiritual Being.

Introduction into Scientology Ethics


There is a Condition below Treason. It is a Condition of CONFUSION.

The formula of the Condition is:

It will be seen that the progress upward would be in Confusion, find out where you are, in Treason, find out that you are; and for Enemy, find out who you are.

The additional formula for the Condition of Confusion is:

1. Locational on the area in which one is. 2. Comparing where one is to other areas where one was.
3. Repeat Step 1.

Lack of this Condition sometimes brings about an assignment of Treason in which the person cannot actually find out that he is and so occasionally does not make it on up the Conditions. Many more persons are in this Condition than is generally realized.

L Ron Hubbard

Basically I blew the whole track and the primary assumption of Beingness for the current cycle of existence.

I later attested to Natural Clear Theta Clear with Steve Bisby in the Independents. A stone’s throw from Saint Hill Manor.

That was my personal resolution.

When working with others to address chronic incurable physical conditions such as cancer and aids I have found that the principles of the Touch Assist, Perfect Duplication, Total ARC=U and the Confusion Formula apply and result in the gradient assumption of total responsibility at knowing and willing cause-effect as Source and Origin.

I have found that the capacity to confront and resolve destructive intent is based upon the capacity to accept total failure and face the unknowable.

My conclusion through my work and practical experience, many years later, is that as a result of implant mechanisms and overwhelm, the chronic state and condition of spiritual beings here in planet earth is:

A State of:
– Total Failure as a Spiritual Being
– The Unknowable (Tone Scale – 40.00 )

– An Ethics Condition of Confusion as a Spiritual Being in relation to the Physical Universe, The Dynamics, Our Basic Relationships and Theta.

In my opinion these are the prerequisites to participation in life here on Earth.

We are here for our loved ones.
We exist for ourselves and each other.
A cruel trap.


“a thetan never totally gives up.”

L Ron Hubbard

There is much to be learned from the acceptance of total failure and a willingness to face the unknowable.

The resolution is to ‘find out where you are’ per LRH.

MY NOTE:  truly a fantastic win  and I totally agree with  Onus realization:  by associating self, Having Valances= being something or somebody : causes nothing more than and we gain only:

“””””””- Total Failure as a Spiritual Being
– The Unknowable ( Tone Scale – 40.00 )

And a condition of Confusion.”””””

Me knowing the existence of these  conditions are the reason for continual sessions: I simply want to know why, for what reason  were created and  believed in what ever I have experienced.



supreme challenge

The supreme challenge was and still is for any Entity-Spirit to have their thoughts-believes molded into solid forms and through the solidity of forms: and identifying with forms the Entity will live exist for eternity: attain infinite state.

Wow!!! What a realization LOL… but there is a slight snag: problem was in the past and that problem they still remain to these days is: matter is not infinite, matter has a life span.

And what the Entity has achieved by identification with solid forms: ‘’being something”: have accomplished exactly the opposite from the original conviction and gained the cast-iron certainty that death is inevitable… hehehe…


Fountain of youth!

because this post here I have continued with the session looking for the reason for the state these Monks were in and why the land too was in such a lifeless state. my new realization will be at the bottom of this article.

🙂 Moment of creation-having fun. 🙂

I don’t have ”imagination” none what so ever, what I write here is recalled.  I have had many sessions on specific subjects in order to recover earlier experiences, eliminate blocked memory but also cognitions from every session’s  widens the awareness also and recalling becomes easier and easier. 🙂

All I could see is gray mist than I noticed a tinny sparkle of golden light but it was so slight was close to be absorbed by the denseness of the mist and  I knew it could go out at any moment-die.

I moved through the heavy mist and now I seen land, gently rolling lifeless land, the soil was gray same color as the mist was from above, I touched the soil and it crumbled away, become mere dust, dead.

I could see the land was hoed and here and there life was struggling to grow from death but hasn’t had much chance because nothing can grow from death. I realized that tinny sparkle I have seen in the great gray mist has created this miserable vegetation.

I touched these plants not with hands since I was invisible haven’t taken on form and soon as I touched them they straitened up and looked stronger visibly have grown. I smiled and they smiled back at me.

I the distance there were scattered adobes same color as the earth and these buildings too seemed lifeless-stood minus motion in the glaring light

A monk stepped out and shielded his eyes from the shrieking brightness  looked toward me, I waved back , by than I too was ‘’wearing’’ robe of heavy dark brownish-gray in color, the hood was over the head and I knew the monk from the distance could not see the robe was moving by itself as it should be if a body would be in it but I did not bothered having a body when things could be done much easier than being disturbed by weighty limiting thing as bodies and dragging it about it just for show for the sake of appearances: to be part of the group.

As I ‘’walked’’ over the fields life returned to the soil, its coloring changed into rich brown and become moist, I felt the force trebling and plants started to grow rapidly.

But still something was missing: not one tree could be seen!

Next I was in a white washed room, inside the abode and monks were seated around the table eating something which looked like bread in shape but not in color, which was sort of grayish and looked solid. One of the monks pushed one piece toward me but not looking at me, none have so far.

Soon as I touched this thing it turned color, become light weightless delight to hold and to experience and its fragrance spread filled the small room and I noted there were deep sighs taken as the life-force moved penetrated the Monks space.

Night -darkness hit the surface of the planet and I too was laying on a narrow cot in a tinny cell: the image was not me, just formality! Not to cause ARCB’s for others.

But I was not in the body, I was experiencing the clear space directly above the land which was now minus of that heavy-gray cover which choked all life and I knew gray mist was not there because the Monks were asleep and in their sleep they could not be causing producing that reality of death-lifeless space.

As I looked on the terrain I observed a tree close to the abodes appeared, glowing golden and sparkling in the sapphire light and the all over the land now were dotted with small clusters of trees and among the clumps of tall growth surface of a small lake mirrored billions of stars.

In the morning light the Monks stood around the tree and stared transfixed at this miracle which appeared overnight and then they noticed golden objects were hanging on its branches, one has fallen and one of the Monk hesitantly –timidly picked up the golden fruit and he haven’t noticed as he touched the pear his gray colored parchment skin changed hue, there was sparkling energy in and around him, invisible to their eyes, but it was there.

The Monk could not look away from the fruit and haven’t noticed now the other Monks gathered around him and they too were looking on mesmerized: watch in rapture as their mate touched the fruit to his face and in union the Monks closed their eyes and inhaled the fragrance of the life-force.

I was gone= that experience ended:)

recently had more sessions on ”healing” and brought awareness how we change environments as we  change.

This of course is normal because as we slowly withdraw our agreements by erasing unwanted incidents with this act our power bit by bit returns.

I am  very exited !!!!

I had immense amount of sessions on aging -old and on every kind of beliefs i could dig up on these subjects after all i had to because this body in coming november will be 78.

I had huge wins =shift in awareness because these sessions and I know I don’t age etc.. but the concepts still exists and till I they do they have to be confronted.

While we are young, in youth we are in the  ”life-force” or connected to it to on extant how we feel, how we are able to create, accomplish, build, produce  because that is what grows out of the ”life-force”. Interest, excitement, go getter, anticipation for the future etc.

Than all that activity slows down [this depends on the individual  when] and than all seems to stop.

We maintain our position than after a while things our universe-life becomes smaller, than it is standing still, just maintaining the body, doing small things waiting for the release, the departure till the day we be free again.

YOUTH: being in experiencing the life-force.

OLD AGE: hit by a standing wave.

Standing Wave do not contain the Golden Vibration the energy which cause and support life, but by being in the Standing Wave everything which was caused by the Golden Vibration=life-force is overwhelmed -stopped and  becomes lifeless… What was once created returns to dust… into nothingness. Example: compare a young meat body to on old aged body…. hehehe what do you see? the sap is sucked out of the old body and the youthful body is firm!

Example: the above post where the Standing Wave=block of unmoving energy stopped creativity=growth. Than the stronger vital force eliminated -replaced that dead energy.

I believe I have reached the basic-basic on this topic! 🙂

Since people ”feel-experience” the other persons energy before they actually look at their body. and by now I have erased age-old -life and i am not in a human valance because of this when people ”experience” my space, its vibration become a bit confused.

Their eyes what its sees: the aged body do not compare to what they have experienced, the golden vibration of youth..  of course not one believes if my age come up that ”I am 77! hehehe.

The vibration of my space is so strong that it yanks attention from young man but when they ”look” they see on old lady…  I wont write of their reaction. 🙂 I am not ”interested” in any ways but this phenomenon  is note worthy and it is the testimony that Auditing-the tech works but has to be used. 🙂








I have written here many realizations I have had about the IMPLANTS –SYSTEM which were labeled by LRH as ‘’Bank’’.

Because I too confronted this complex collections of beliefs from very different side from LRH’s realities which is normal since I haven’t walked in LRH’s shoes, did not experienced what he has therefor what I seen – how I understand MEST is unique to me and what I have experienced are my realities –beliefs considerations and nothing more.

I don’t see the so called Bank as all bad aberration or see those Entities who are not connected to bodies are evil hehehe, not at all.

What I believe that my finding about the Banks gives greater understandings because I spent more session times exploring-confronting these subjects than LRH had since our reasons for doing so were poles apart.

I as well have found lots of undesirable so called ‘’negative incidents’’ but negative beliefs can’t exist, can’t be real if its matching part –belief, the positive isn’t present.

So those of you who believe in all good, want everything good-perfect hehehe, weeeell, that can’t be if still want to be in the game=MEST.

In order to have LIFE to LIVE we need the awareness and the ability to evaluate and accept all what happens in any moment as on experience.

I unquestionably explored every side- facet of the BANK-SYSTEM-IMPLANTS and found many fantastic reasons why the BANK-System is still standing.

Interestingly they give on illusion of continuum but in fact each Entities life is put together by millions of experiences and not one has originated from the same location!!!! Mind boggling discovery.


These Systems or parallel systems as the one we live now of course were put together bit by bit improved slowly by trial and they contained the elements: space, time=continuum, being-ness, personalities as =valances etc..

If any Entity want life-live as a being than best is to be in one of these systems and play along =be part of. But has to accept agree to the rules which hold the group together because those rules ensure the continuum of the game.

Personally I prefer at the present not to be anything-anyone because ‘’this state of no state’’ has it all. 🙂





Reading –understanding thoughts what others have.

Occasionally I had sessions on this subject but I never really gotten into it because I bumped into a belief my own of course that reading-understanding the thoughts other have is not Ethical. NOT OK AT ALL!

So since I agreed to this in my present state I was in I did not pursued this subject any further.

But I figured this morning I should have another go on this topic because I have nothing better to confront hehehe… not a bad place to be and I love searching so I started the session.

Let me tell you I wasn’t getting anywhere again outside of the same thought: NOT ETHICAL to read-understand-pry into other person’s universe.

But I don’t give up easily!! And session continued.

I become aware of Block –wall or barrier I have put up in order not to see –understand what others were thinking and this was a solid-solid wall!

I confronted this solid obstacle –eliminated it and went on with the session.

Realized that I have the ability- knack – the gift to read thoughts so I wondered: why I cant..???

Best to open up any subject is to look for Overts hehehe and bingo! I hit the jackpot!

The transgressions I committed because I could read mind were torrential-pouring in and here is only a few:

Killed persons because what they were thinking of me, found out were they hid their valuables and I simply removed them, I blackmailed people because I knew their secrets, when gambling: playing card games I knew the opponents cards and I won every time, I have scandalized others by airing their secrets in newspapers.

And the list continues: evil intentions in abundance!

But here is something in connection which I did not know when I went into todays session: over the past year or so in session the subject of god come up… not so much the god but my connection, my beliefs in that valance: that it has power over me and that was the reason me in kneeling position and praying!!!!

Well, I know praying, being anything-anybody is a valance and part of the System-implanted material.

But this valance me praying has come back in many sessions and each incident confronted I have had understanding why I was praying yet the picture has come back over and over.

So Here I was in session up to my chin confronting Overts-committing sins – crimes and being wicked to the core and suddenly I found self again in kneeling position praying… and soon as that happened there was a blowdown and understanding has come: I PRAYED TO god TO take away the gift – ability so I no longer could commit the crimes I have done. F/N!

By the way the above incidents were not on this planet but similar because by the time I was imprisoned here I no longer had abilities which could be called extraordinary in any ways.

To me what was not ‘’ordinary’’ that suddenly I found self-having a body, being totally helpless, could not communicate, plus had to eat, forced to walk, go unconscious which is called sleep etc.. etc, but most bothersome thing was I knew I did not belong and forgotten what I was

I am positive that I will be finding more stuff to confront on the above subject because not every deed we do or done have started out as evil, on the contrary: the basic to everything we ever done were good.

Evil exist because evaluation, and evaluation exist because it is a belief and beliefs of any kind is part of-belong into the System=implant.

The System could not exist without evaluation: the negative beliefs holds in place the positive and that makes solidity: which is the Standing Wave and this opposing energy fields interwoven  gives the impression of being solid… not moving.

PS  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Keep it in mind that understanding being able to read others private thoughts takes huge courage, that person has to be brave beyond comprehension because how many persons would be willing to know: what their dearest friends think of them, what their spouses think when they see that young beautiful thing going by, or what their bosses think of them, or when the wife say: you look fantastic but thinks: wish you  would drop dead!

You see, your thoughts too would be exposed to others… so the behavior, the common courtesies which are given out and in most instances are lies would be useless and honesty would return and with that trusting others also.

In other words: simple life, uncomplicated, worry free: OT’s at play.

But there is more, much more to be contemplated on, but I will explore all the reasons 🙂

here is one: the fear alone that you will not be liked if others knew how you really are and what you think, believe in stops any one to read minds and their own private thought to be known!       fear is a major factor which purpose is to stop and definitely works.

good thing that I already have erased that major block, therefore i haven’t any and if I still would have than I would not be the Golden Vibration.

PS: picking up-knowing what others thought were source of great problems: when vital information was picked up, which no one was to know than that caused problems: what to do about it, just ignore it or not. Because by than few had the ability and these people had to keep their ability a secret or face elimination. So missed withholds galore was created, hiding, holding back, becoming introvert, none communicative.


Another PS!!!! also become problematic when the person picked up thoughts which h/s haven’t had any reality-understanding of,  or disturbing thoughts which to the person was toooooo stimulating,  therefore caused unwanted reactions, great upsets and could drive that person mad… thinking that they must be going insane.

Also if they talked about it to others who did not had any reality on the subject than again this could cause ARCB’s of every kind for all parties involved because the person would be labeled, insane, hallucinating, have wild imaginations and people after awhile would cut communication with this person.

I know LRH really wanted to regain this ability but I believe he really haven’t explored  this item at all.

more to come!


prisoner and minus power

When on a Prison Planet and being a prisoner we do not have the power of our own INTENTION to take place, materialize and change circumstances- condition we are in and of course we are in what we are in because we do believe that we are!

I been looking for creative power, how intention works, and why, what reasons I am not able to change somethings but most of all I wanted to change able to move objects without use of the hands: the Body.

So far I have found thousands of different reasons why I can’t and every one of these – considerations I have had so far have been very legitimate explanations why I can’t have my own intentions materials.

Yet I know it can be done but what baffled confused me how we-I am influenced by having the body and why only this chunk meet thing allowed to do things and even that doing-ness creativity is very limited.

The point being a prisoner is the body… presence a body, connected to the body, and to identify with the body as self and because of these beliefs + agreements on the same: all creative activity is only acceptable to happen has to be fashioned –built- made –prepared by hand =body.

Please note: ACCEBTABLE way of doing things, this here on this Planets happens because it is on agreed upon reality by all occupants.

Hehehe even pleasure is only permitted –allowed through the ‘’ SENSES ’’ =touch, perceive –taste etc: by the use of the body! and believed that none of these exists if we don’t have a body. Collective agreements  are very -very powerful, hehehe and they are the reasons you believe you need to walk to get someplace and cant float ; small example.

Are we the victims to some incredible evil deed… OF COURSE WE ARE AND THAT evil-nasty-suppressive wonderful –brilliant-perfect in every way that creative Entity is no other than OURSELF!

Because whatever we are in, that state that being-ness is our own creation.

This morning’s session was about ‘’allowing to have or not to have’’ of course O/W’s finding them brought realization how demanding, controlling I have been, Oh… this is not news but  I still love to confront Overts, my favorite part of sessions; because I know what I have done to others first and foremost I have done to myself.

About power, personal power, intention etc.. we all have it but our own beliefs have nulled  that power and remains nulled till all the reasons are erased.

By now I am doing really good: regained immense but i know I still have lot to confront.. learn.

PS!!!!! OT at Play while having a human body!! You need to look at this video, she is at the end part with the puppet





Over the years I had many sessions on items for reasons wanting to ‘’improve’’ my memory and the retention of materials I read, or just simply not to forget what I needed to do in the near future.

As the so called ‘’my life wound down’’ because of the aging of body and that caused of me stepping out of the  usual, normal  activities and moved into retirement; that means stepping out of the mainstream of the implanted activities.

This  life I haven’t had ‘’good memory’’ in fact I never could recall more than one line from a poem, a song, no matter how much I wanted to know and to memorize them I could not.

and I definitely had problems recalling faces, and names, dates and spelling well forget that subject.. Even as a Hungarian where we did not had to spell words because we pronounced everything the same way as had to be written  Yet  in school, in my class I was the worst when it comes to write because of misspelling words, and the teacher  could not figure out why a Hungarian could not write Hungarian properly?

[ yet all the way through in school I was top student!]

Well, I think a bit of brain damage at birth caused that problem, being born with the cord around the neck, plus the backside come out first, blue in the face, half dead already.

Keep it in mind while we are attached to the mothers body at her pregnancy at that period we are that body, we have become mothers body and we know-record every word, thought, belief, consideration she has, than after birth of our ‘’body’’ when we are introduced educated about life by our parents, teachers etc, we get wider range- more of the implanted material.

The important fact is when WE ARE OUR MOTHERS BODY her believes-reality is the basic and her beliefs will become the very foundation for us, how we will live our life, where we heading.

I am getting long winded here.

My mother had Alzheimer’s and we, my two sisters and I of course ‘’inherited ‘’ the condition. [ the older sister is in the nursing home and cant remember my name, only knows that I am her sister she is 80 and the younger is 74 but her state of dementia is where she really don’t know she has forgotten things already]

By in my mid 50’s I have noticed remembering was getting worst so I started sessions on those items and  that was 20 years back and since than ‘’my memory’’ has improved incredibly because of elimination all the counter intentions. I know auditing works.

Last night a thought come to me concerning doing laundry and why would I forget something so normal as doing a load of laundry?

Into session with that concept I went and within a few seconds I had a huge realization why it is so incredibly important to have a great memory- recall: because that knowledge retained – kept- preserved – with that information intact we hang on to the implanted crap we are made to believe that is ‘’life’’ itself.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’It is the demand, enforced, imposed implanted belief and that safeguards the implants existence, will remain and will continue and hold the Entities in its Prison= subdued unresponsive passive. ‘’’’’’’

Every time we remember, want to remember with that we are returning to MAMA: the implant.

Please understand that I know what is life and what remembering means to those who are in the state of being ‘’human’’, so I am not putting down anyone, not my intention at all. After all this blog is a Diary a Journal of my adventures!.

What I write here is only my reality I don’t say it is the truth and nothing but the truth… that kind of truth one has to find for them selfs.

Those who are in the State of dementia  or Alzheimer are struggling, and are in total panic because they cant recall, cant remember their experiences., and the problem is because that experience  was the only thing believed … made to believe was real.

Drugs, treatments will never work because drugs cant bring back experiences which were in the first place ”illusions” and nothing more.

Unfortunately the implant material do not contain information about after life, how we live-operate and the reason for not having this information: after all the information would free the Entity and the only purpose the implant is for to keep the entity imprisoned for eternity.

by not having information outside what the implant contains the Entity needs to remember, to retain identity, beingness, the valance it self and to have life get a new body again and again and again !!!!!


PS; I am not in the Facebook… that Elizabeth Hamre is not me and no relation.


Thank you very much for sharing, I am most interested to hear your experiences -recalls.

As I said I did not know this Golden Vibration was in connection with magic: OT ability, normal way of living as Entities.

First time I recalled in session doing magic and that session was about 26-27 years back and it was on the Magical planet which has been exploded in the Crab Nebula.

My recall that time went on for days and I recalled in minute detail everything about this magnificent garden planet and its occupants. I must add this planet existed because there was no ‘’negative’’ opposing realities and when negative –opposing reality entered into the space of Golden vibration that negative was burned off automatically by the Golden Vibration.

: which I did not realized than in those recalls but now I know the increase –rise  in the ‘’instant cognitions’’  happens when something=altered realities –falsehoods  comes into my space… of course this phenomenon has increased as the knowledge from cognitions have been accumulating hence the name Burn off= as-ising.

Than I did not have body but wispy floating vapor But occasionally I acted if I would have one: Example: I floated in the most magnificent garden and I ”wanted” something.. hehehe.. it was a drink  and in that moment in my invisible hand a tall green glass appeared and in it was my favorite juice: nectar of peaches I really love the taste-experience of that fruit!

I even recalled in session what I even though than, “it will be the death of me’’ being addicted to have the experience of drinking nectar. [Peaches fragrance of peaches till this days cause immense pleasure]

I drank the juice of course I only experienced the taste, the fragrance and nothing more and as I ”drank it” it the liquid  vanished back into where it has been conjured from but the empty glass was hanging-levitating in the air..

I wondered what to do with the glass and had on idea in that moment I turned the green glass into it a beautiful little colorful bird, which was love bird, and I thought it will be my wedding present to someone named Saniffar … as the bird hovered I pick up its though, he asked me for a mate did, he not wanted to be alone.

I apologized to the bird for being so thoughtless not thinking of this myself and I picked up a shiny flat pebble from the ground I hoovered over and turned that pebble into its another little bird who in comparison was a bit plain in color , they happily side by side flown off together.

I recalled many similar things and one of them was I turned a person’s tears into the flower Forget -me -Not.[ tears were from negative and flowers grown from golden vibration]

My recalls about that part of existence what I would like to call being OT.

Once I recalled vegetation on some planet has grown and I was the cause, this Golden energy made it happen.

In this Life as Elizabeth I created beautiful gardens out of empty yards, 300 roses, plus dozens of other variety of flowers I could bring home from the nurseries they were not only growing from the ground but climbed on fences, gates, trellises and covered the gazebo and  the rambler was growing to cover the bungalows roof and people from all over come to see this wondrous garden.

I knew the garden flowed golden energy which was I called a Beacon which went into -out of the Earth’s atmosphere and I knew the gardens were my ”body”.

The Beacon was a homing device for entities. J

But till few days back I haven’t associated this vibration with so called enlightenment.

Over the years of course I had immense amount of sessions in order to understand what magic is and I wanted to know how I lost it.

I simply wanted to regain the state I was in as Wu-Y, that was the name I had on that planet.

About this golden energy: I know it draws Entities.. and I never had ”fear” about the so called BTs -Clusters, to me reading about their existence in the OT material brought incredible blowdown and I knew knowing their existence, our co-existence with that understanding; have arrived; I was back home.

I love the reality knowing I share or they share= we are in one reality and because of it I left the church in 82 on Flag’s C/S ordered me to stop my adventures of me having sessions on my own after OT 7.. I said good bye and I never looked back.

Whatever I have done so far was and will be the very reason to understand how we operate-live as Entities.

Oh, I almost forgot I recalled once being on a planet  its surface was barren so were the cottages -huts  but soon after me being there plants, flowering trees appeared, the cottages were covered with  flowering vines, water bubbled up from the grounds and this spread the greenery flowed into the barren land and become lush-beautiful.

Another time I was a Monk, working in the garden and plants not only what were cultivated but different unknown -never seen before started to grow and they were growing matured very fast.

I also have other recalls about gardens growing around me and things appearing out of nothing and I want that to happen again.

Please share your experiences to me that would be very helpful, on ”opening” into a different reality-universe.

PS: i believe the gardens  were replaced by the Blog… and now the blog is that golden energy.


[i don’t have a heart!]

The session started out by realizing that something valuable has been taken away from me something missing, something has been lost.

I located few items but not one I believed held value because to me life—having life has no value outside of being able to have sessions.

Then I located a Golden mass of energy-  light gold in color and I instantly recognized this Golden vibrating energy because I have seen this before in different sessions over the years  in about twenty incident. But not once I understood the meaning what this Golden Light-Vibration meant.

I felt bad in this session, felt empty but soon as I seen this Golden Energy I knew I felt bad because I was not inside but outside of it and where I was the space was empty, void and colorless,  and I KNEW THAT THE Golden Vibration was happiness, total contentment.

Soon as I realized this I was, I have become this Golden Energy—and I also realized from this Energy everything is created, that this is the basic creative energy also called Golden Ratio.

Then I started to recall different occasions when I used this to create as one would  like  doing magic.

I also seen other life times and when I have last achieved-returned back to this State my original form while having a human form.[ the body is not me, or my form, never have been.]

I have mentioned in this blog before I have been a well-known so called’’ teacher-healer’’ in the past few thousand years earlier, but then I haven’t gained the knowledge and for this I had to return.

Now for the first time I really understand what Enlightenment means and I am.

Now folks this do not means I am holy, saintly,  divine, and I will be sitting on cloud strumming some imaginary golden harp… hell no…  Enlightenment is  not for the likes of me , not for resting  on my skinny  backside but trotting on full speed   because this reality is just a reality same as any other.

Hehehe but the  banners are flying high above the mountains  in  Nepal in celebration and of course the Rockies too 🙂 I clearly can see them. 🙂 and so many said that auditing don’t work!!!

PS::::: nothing enlightening about just knowing the words, even if the knowledge is from realizations but the  ”enlightenment” is when the entities space is pure in this case light gold in coloration than the knowledge too unaltered.. pure, it seems both components are needed to have this State in place. 🙂

by the way mentioning gaining new ”states” simply means new understanding  has been gained on a matter  which till now was unknown, has been mystery,  cognitions do sort out misunderstandings, clear away lies.. etc..




Maurice is a solo auditor and has been for the past 50 years and Maurice is my beloved friend which is a bonus for both of us.. we share our experiences gained while exploring the Universe.

here is his session-win:

 “””””Had an unusual session the last few days.  I was feeling massy so I ran down my list and came to the end with nothing reading.  I went ahead and started as-ising the mass anyway, just looking at it repeatedly and blowing the mass bit by bit.  Even though I didn’t know what it was all about.  A few hours later, same thing – still felt massy and went through the list again and nothing read.  Just resumed blowing the mass for about an hour.  Later still same thing again – mass shows up  – went through the list but this time got a whopping read on “implant”.  Turns out it was an implant where I was told how “important” and “vital” and “wonderful” it was to “have a body” or better yet, “to be a body”.  That I am “nothing” without a body. Spent a bunch of hours blowing this stuff.   A very very basic implant that was so insidious it was trying to hide itself from me.  This was never supposed to be discovered.  Too bad, it was discovered anyway :-).””””””

PS from me: great win because something invisible and well-hidden was discovered which still had its affect and this result come about showing that the Tech. works no matter how well hidden, forgotten the incident has become.

 new awareness and becoming aware  how the ”implant” made the entity believe the importance of having a body is really -incredibly important realization.

The Track is full with hidden forgotten items, well, everything is if the person can’t recall, go back into earlier life’s but there are some incidents as above which were intended to never be found.

These incidents are truly suppressive mechanism and were designed to control, with that enslave, BUT here is my favorite “”BUT’’ when being controlled we are of course defeated and become powerless.

The only reason ‘’control’’ is exercised over someone is to eliminate the power which the person has.

Great win my friend!! Much love to you as always!